Discipline is freedom. You may disagree with this statement, and if you do you are certainly not alone. For many people discipline is a dirty word that is equated with the absence of freedom. In fact the opposite is true. As Stephen R. Covey once wrote, “the undisciplined are slaves to moods, appetites and passions”. And in the longer term, the undisciplined lack the freedom that comes with possessing particular skills and abilities – e.g. to play a musical instrument or speak a foreign language.
Self-disciplineinvolves acting according to what you thinkinstead of how you feelin the moment. Often it involves sacrificing the pleasure and thrill of the moment for what matters most in life. Therefore it is self-discipline that drives you to:
Work on an idea or project after the initial rush of enthusiasm has faded away
Go to the gym when all you want to do is lie on the couch and watch TV
Wake early to work on yourself
Say “no” when tempted to break your diet
Only check your email a few of times per day at particular times
In the past self-discipline has been a weakness of mine, and as a result today I find myself lacking the ability to do a number of things which I would like – e.g. to play the guitar. But I have improved, and I can say that it is self-discipline that got me out of bed this morning at 5am to run and then write this article. Believe me, I would love to be curled up in bed right now, but this desire is subordinated by my inner sense of purpose.
If you struggle with self-discipline, the good news is that it can be developed. For example, it is only in the past two years that I have trained myself to wake early. The following are what I have found to be the five traits of self-discipline:
1. Self-Knowledge
Discipline means behaving according to what you have decided is best, regardless of how you feel in the moment. Therefore the first trait of discipline is self-knowledge. You need to decide what behavior best reflects your goals and values. This process requires introspection and self-analysis, and is most effective when tied to written expression. I highly recommend taking the time to write out your goals, dreams and ambitions. Even better, write out a personal mission statement. I found that writing such a statement gave me a greater understanding of who I am, what I am about and what I value. Dr. Covey has an excellent
Mission Statement Builderon his site.
2. Conscious Awareness
Self-discipline depends upon conscious awareness as to both what you are doing and what you are not doing. Think about it. If you aren’t aware your behavior is undisciplined, how will you know to act otherwise?
As you begin to build self-discipline, you may catch yourself being in the act of being undisciplined – e.g. biting your nails, avoiding the gym, eating a piece of cake or checking your email constantly. Developing self-discipline takes time, and the key here is you are aware of your undisciplined behavior. With time this awareness will come earlier, meaning rather than catching yourself in the act of being undisciplined you will have awareness before you act in this way. This gives you the opportunity to make a decision that is in better alignment with your goals and values.
3. Commitment to Self-Discipline
It is not enough to simply write out your goals and values. You must make an internal commitment to them. Otherwise when your alarm clock goes off at 5am you will see no harm in hitting the snooze button for “just another 5 minutes….”O(jiān)r, when initial rush of enthusiasm has faded away from a project you will struggle to see it through to completion.
If you struggle with commitment, start by making a conscious decision to follow through on what you say you’re going to do – both when you said you would do it and how you said you would do it. Then, I highly recommend putting in place a system to track these commitments. As the saying goes, “What gets measured gets improved”.
4. Courage
Did you notice the sweat dripping from the man in the picture at the start of this article? Make no mistake, self-discipline is often extremely difficult. Moods, appetites and passions can be powerful forces to go against. Therefore self-discipline is highly dependent on courage. Don’t pretend something is easy for you to do when it is in fact very difficult and/ or painful. Instead, find the courage to face this pain and difficulty. As you begin to accumulate small private victories, your self-confidence will grow and the courage that underpins self-discipline will come more naturally.
5. Internal Coaching
Self-talk is often harmful, but it can also be extremely beneficial if you have control of it. When you find yourself being tested, I suggest you talk to yourself, encourage yourself and reassure yourself. After all, it is self-talk that has the ability to remind you of your goals, call up courage, reinforce your commitment and keep you conscious of the task at hand. When I find my discipline being tested, I always recall the following quote: “The price of discipline is always less than the pain of regret”. Burn this quote into your memory, and recall in whenever you find yourself being tested. It may change your life.
Peter writes about
how to change your life at The Change Blog. He is also the author of
Starting a Blog and
Audio Book Downloads.
譯文
“自律就是自由?！蹦憧赡軙?huì)不同意，我想不同意的也不只你一個(gè)人。對(duì)許多人來(lái)說(shuō)，自律是一個(gè)討厭的詞兒，因?yàn)樗馕吨鴽](méi)有自由。實(shí)際上，反過(guò)來(lái)才是正確的。如同Stephen R. Covey（彌縫注，《高效能人士的七個(gè)習(xí)慣》一書(shū)的作者）所寫(xiě)的那樣：“不自律的人就是情緒、欲望和感情的奴隸”。從長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)來(lái)講，不自律的人是缺乏自由的，也無(wú)法得到隨之而來(lái)的獨(dú)特技能和能力，比如演奏樂(lè)器的技能或者說(shuō)一門(mén)外語(yǔ)的能力。
自律指的是，在那一時(shí)刻，是你的想法決定你的行為而非你的感情。在對(duì)你的一生有很大影響的大事情面前，自律常常意味著犧牲樂(lè)趣和避免一時(shí)的沖動(dòng)。因此，是自律驅(qū)使你做到：
即使在最初的熱情褪去后，仍然繼續(xù)完成一個(gè)想法或者項(xiàng)目
即使你非常想躺在沙發(fā)上看電視，也還是要去健身房健身
早起工作
面對(duì)誘惑時(shí)說(shuō)“不”
只在每天的特定時(shí)候有限次的查看你的郵箱
過(guò)去，自律是我的一個(gè)弱點(diǎn)，以至于現(xiàn)在我發(fā)現(xiàn)很多我曾經(jīng)想做的事情都做不來(lái)，比如彈吉他。不過(guò)我已經(jīng)有進(jìn)步了，可以說(shuō)是自律讓我今天早上五點(diǎn)起床去跑步然后寫(xiě)下這篇文章的。相信我，要在從前，我現(xiàn)在是仍然蜷縮在床上的，但是這種想法被我的理智給克服了。
如果你正在與自律做著斗爭(zhēng)的話，那么好消息是，它一定會(huì)對(duì)你有幫助的。以我為例，我可是花了兩年的時(shí)間才讓自己早點(diǎn)起床的啊。下面是我所發(fā)現(xiàn)的自律的五個(gè)特性。
自知之明
自律意味著，你的行為取決于你能做出最好的決定這一信念，而非取決于你當(dāng)時(shí)的情感。因此，自律的第一個(gè)特性就是自知之明。你需要決定什么行為最好地放映了你的目標(biāo)和價(jià)值。這個(gè)過(guò)程需要自省和自我分析，而且如果你試著把它寫(xiě)下來(lái)那就最有效了。我強(qiáng)烈推薦花些時(shí)間來(lái)寫(xiě)下你的目標(biāo)、夢(mèng)想和抱負(fù)。如果能寫(xiě)出一個(gè)自己的任務(wù)條款就再好不過(guò)了。我發(fā)現(xiàn)，寫(xiě)下這樣一個(gè)條款讓我更加清楚我是誰(shuí)、我要干嘛以及我的價(jià)值是什么。Covey博士的網(wǎng)站上有一個(gè)很棒的任務(wù)條款生成器。
清醒的認(rèn)識(shí)
自律依賴于對(duì)你正在做的和還沒(méi)有做的事情的清醒的認(rèn)識(shí)。想想看吧。如果你都不知道你的行為是不自律的，你如何能夠讓自己自律呢？
當(dāng)你開(kāi)始自律的時(shí)候，你可能會(huì)捕捉到你自己的一些不自律的行為，比如咬手指、不想去健身房、吃一塊蛋糕或者經(jīng)常查看你的電子郵箱。自律很花時(shí)間，關(guān)鍵是你要意識(shí)到你的不自律的行為。隨著時(shí)間的推移，這種意識(shí)會(huì)變得越來(lái)越簡(jiǎn)單，并使你在做不自律的事情之前就意識(shí)到，而不是要等到已經(jīng)開(kāi)始做的時(shí)候。這可以給你提供機(jī)會(huì)來(lái)做出對(duì)你的目標(biāo)和價(jià)值來(lái)講最好的決定。
承諾自律
只是寫(xiě)出你的目標(biāo)和價(jià)值是不夠的。你必須對(duì)它們做出一個(gè)內(nèi)心的承諾。否則，當(dāng)你的鬧鐘在早上五點(diǎn)響起的時(shí)候，你會(huì)毫無(wú)愧疚的按下鬧鐘的打盹鍵來(lái)“再睡5分鐘……”或者，當(dāng)最初的熱情從一個(gè)項(xiàng)目中褪去的時(shí)候，你會(huì)跟自己斗爭(zhēng)是否要看到項(xiàng)目完成。
如果你要與承諾斗爭(zhēng)，那么就要對(duì)你即將要做的事情做出一個(gè)有意識(shí)的決定了——什么時(shí)候你說(shuō)你要做這件事來(lái)著？你當(dāng)時(shí)是怎么說(shuō)的來(lái)著？接著，我強(qiáng)烈建議你想辦法來(lái)實(shí)踐你的承諾。俗話說(shuō)，“可測(cè)量者可改進(jìn)”。
勇氣
不犯錯(cuò)的自律經(jīng)常是極端困難的。情緒、欲望和感情會(huì)強(qiáng)有力地將阻止你前進(jìn)。因此，自律是很需要勇氣的。事實(shí)上當(dāng)有些事情是非常困難和痛苦的時(shí)候，不要假裝這些事情對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)很容易做。隨著你開(kāi)始不斷地積攢小的自我勝利，你將會(huì)更加自信，并且支撐你自律的自信將會(huì)變得更加自然。
內(nèi)心的訓(xùn)練
自己和自己內(nèi)心說(shuō)話的練習(xí)是雙刃劍，但是如果你控制得好，它也可以變得極為有用。當(dāng)你發(fā)現(xiàn)你的自律受到挑戰(zhàn)的時(shí)候，我建議你和自己說(shuō)話，鼓勵(lì)自己并讓自己放心。要知道，自己和自己說(shuō)話可以提醒你你的目標(biāo)，喚起你的勇氣，強(qiáng)化你的承諾并使你對(duì)手中的任務(wù)保持清醒的頭腦。當(dāng)我發(fā)現(xiàn)我的自律正在被挑戰(zhàn)的時(shí)候，我總是提 醒自己下面的話：“自律的代價(jià)總是要比后悔的代價(jià)低的”。把這句話銘刻在心吧，每當(dāng)不想自律的時(shí)候提醒自己。這將改變你的生活。
原文：How to Build Self-Discipline- PickTheBrain
譯者：itonyliu（譯言）
