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趣味英語 Jokes(笑話)

"Please God....\"

   
John likes chocolates very much,but his mother never gives him any,because they are bad for his teeth,she thinks.But John has a very nice grandfather.

   
The old man loves his grandson very much,and sometimes he rings John chocolates when he comes to visit him.Then his mother lets him eat them,because she wants to make the old man happy.
  One evening,a few days before John's seventh birthday,he was saying his prayers in his bedroom before he went to bed."Please,God,"he shouted."Make them buy me a big box of
chocolates for my birthday on Saturday." His mother was in the kitchen,but she heardthe small boy shouting and went into his room quickly.
  " Why are you shouting,John?"she asked."God can hear you when you talk quietly."
  "I know,"answered the boy with a smile."But Grandfather is in the next room,he can"t hear."
  譯文:
        “上帝呀,請……”
  約翰非常喜歡巧克力,但他的媽媽從不給他吃,因為她覺得巧克力對牙齒是有害的。而約翰有個非常好的外祖父,他非常疼愛這個外孫子,有時候,他來看外孫時,便給他帶來一些巧克力,這時,媽媽允許他吃,因為她想使老人高興。
  在約翰7歲生日的前幾天的一個晚上,睡覺前他在他的臥室里祈禱著,“上帝,請他們?yōu)槲倚瞧诹纳战o我買一大盒巧克力。”他大聲喊到。
  媽媽在廚房里,但他聽到了約翰的喊聲,她快步來到他的房間。“約翰,為什么大聲的叫喊?上帝在你靜靜地祈禱中才能聽見你的話。”
  “我懂,”男孩面帶微笑的回答道“外祖父在隔壁的房間里,他聽不見。”

                                   "Suit me"
    Tommy came thundering down the stairs,much to his father's annoyance.
  "Tommy."he called."How many more times do I have to tell you to come down those stairs quietly!Now,go bask to upstairs and come down like a civilized human being.
    "There was a silence,and Tommy reappeared in the front room.
    "That's better."said his father."Now in the future will you always come down the stairs like that?"
    Suits me."said Tommy."I slid down the banister."
  譯文:
            “正合我意”
    湯米下樓的聲如打雷一般,這使得爸爸很惱火。
  “湯米,”他喊道。“我還得必須告訴你多少次,要悄悄地走下樓梯!現(xiàn)在返回樓去,然后像個文明人那樣走下樓來。”
    安靜了片刻之后,燙米又走進屋子里。
  “這就好多了。”他的父親說。“那么今后你能總是那樣下樓嗎?”
  “正合我意。”燙米說。“我是從樓梯扶手上滑下來的。”
Give me an apple --quick.
        Peter came rushing into his dad.
  “Dad,”he puffed.“Is it true that an apple a day can keep the doctor away?”
  “That's what they said.”said his dad.
“Well,give me an apple--quick,I've just broken the doctor's window.”
  注:puff喘息

譯文:      給我一個蘋果-—快
    彼得急匆匆地跑到他父親跟前。“爸爸”他喘著氣說,“每天吃一個蘋果能使醫(yī)生離的遠遠的,這是真的嗎?”
  “人們是這么說的。”他父親說。
  “那好,給我一個蘋果—快,我剛剛打破了醫(yī)生家的窗戶。”






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