When Michael Lockwood was a single divorced dad, he'd often write down dating advice that he planned to give to his daughters when they grew up. Years later, he's turned those thoughts and advice into a book "Women Have All the Power, Too Bad They Don't Know It." It's a wake-up call to women who make mistakes in the dating game. An excerpt.
Just Because it Glitters Doesn’t Mean It’s Gold
Don’t be impressed by the unimpressive. Too many women sell themselves short by settling for a man with an attractive exterior. A man who is overly concerned with himself and his material things has no room to value you. This is a dynamic that has always baffled me. Just because a man is good- looking, wears a shiny new suit, sports some Now and Later gators, drives a shiny new car, and profiles a new Rolex on his wrist does not mean he is a good man. As a matter of fact, that’s usually the joker who can’t rub two nickels together. What’s wrong with the guy in jeans and a T-shirt, driving a Camry, checking his Timex to see exactly when his check is going to hit the bank? You’re tripping over dollars to get to pennies. Never allow yourself to be impressed by a man’s depreciating assets (cars, clothes, expensive rental apartment). That’s just a reflection of his debt. If you’re going to be impressed with material things, at least be smart enough to start with his net worth.
Watch out for men who spend money frivolously. I had a woman tell me how flattered she was when her boyfriend booked her a posh hotel room, filled it from corner to corner with freshly cut roses, and had an expensive dress lying across the bed just as a surprise to show her how much he cared about her. Granted, I’d have to give the brother an “A” for style and originality, but when I said to her, “Wow, he must be paid!” she said, with a glowing smile, “No, not at all. He’s living with his mother right now, but he just really likes me.” All I could think was, This fool must have fallen and bumped her head. I understand it may have been a flattering gesture, but don’t reward a man with attention and praise for foolishness. Now, if he has no problem affording lavish gifts, that’s another story. But if the brother is broke, you have to question his motivations (and his sanity). He must use whatever tactics are at his disposal to get the go-ahead for intimacy from a woman. Applaud your man when he exercises good judgment. Don’t reward foolishness. This brings me to my next point: red flags.
Don’t ignore the red flags. Some women are notorious for turning a blind eye to the warning signs, even if they’re staring them right in the face. Instead of those flags just sitting there while you ignore them, let me wave a few of them for you.
1. If your man is living in his mother’s house for more than a couple of months — I give a small grace period — RED FLAG.
2. If he drives an expensive car, but rents an apartment — RED FLAG.
3. If he overaccessorizes — RED FLAG.
4. If your man wears more than one ring per hand, more than one bracelet per wrist, and more than one necklace per neck — RED FLAG.
5. If he is always the one who’s overdressed for the occasion — RED FLAG.
6. If your man is constantly spending money on you without regard to price (i.e., clothes, trips, jewelry) and he can’t afford it — RED FLAG.
7. If your man constantly asks to “hold” some money or expect you to pay while on dates — RED FLAG.
8. If he approaches you with a flattering, yet rehearsed line — RED FLAG.
9. If he says he has a job but can’t articulate exactly what it is he does for a living— RED FLAG.
10. If he talks himself than more about he inquires about you — RED FLAG.
Video: Single dad pens book for daughters (on this page)Now, just because I described these ten items as red flags doesn’t mean it’s an absolute no-go item if you encounter one in your man. It means you should take a critical look before going forward. There’s a saying that goes, “Young men speak of the things they are doing, old men speak of things they did, and fools speak of the things they’re about to do.” Don’t be impressed by the unimpressive.
