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愛是什么?

原文來自 Quora,已獲得答主授權(quán),內(nèi)容僅代表答主觀點(diǎn)。
譯文由曉然翻譯組原創(chuàng),轉(zhuǎn)載前請與我們聯(lián)系。
譯者:CB叉 校對:暖暖



What is love?
愛是什么?

Aditya Gupta

幾個世紀(jì)以來,詩人、作家、藝術(shù)家、哲學(xué)家、科學(xué)家、人文學(xué)家都曾試著對愛情下定義。愛是極少幾個能夠困擾并吸引每個人的話題之一。

麗莎霍夫曼(Lisa Hoffman)曾動人地說:“愛情就像圓周率——自然,非理性,且至關(guān)重要。

電影《性愛之后》 (Love and Sex) 里,有一句關(guān)于愛情的絕妙名言:“愛情是狂喜也是苦悶,是自由也是徒刑,是找到歸屬也是孑然一身。

當(dāng)生活使你痛苦得快被撕裂時是愛給你安慰。愛屬于世上極少的幾個能賦予生活價值的東西之一。它是人類能夠感受到的最強(qiáng)烈的情感之一。愛是當(dāng)另一個人的歡樂,另一個人的夢想,另一個人的渴望,另一個人的困苦變成了你自己的。你和另一半之間沒有間隙。愛是當(dāng)你看到一個人的臉就馬上能感受到他心中所想。這是聯(lián)系著所有身處愛河中的人們的心靈感應(yīng)。愛是一切美好關(guān)系的基礎(chǔ)。

我認(rèn)為羅伯特·海因萊因 (Robert Heinlein) 將愛詮釋得很美:“愛是當(dāng)另一個人的歡樂成了你自己快樂的必需品。

愛情似乎是宇宙中留下的唯一合理的存在。真愛是無需物質(zhì)的依戀。愛是你本能的特殊感受,愛是當(dāng)你看到另一半時你能感到自己的心跳。愛是當(dāng)你用全部的時間來思念對方。愛是當(dāng)你愿意走遍全球只為看一眼你愛的人。愛是當(dāng)你一整天盯著你的手機(jī)希望收到對方報平安的短訊。真愛是無私忘我,而不需要從對方身上得到回報。

科學(xué)家們經(jīng)常將愛定義為一種化學(xué)失衡,它會讓你在與另一半在一起時感到情緒高漲,心情愉快,激情四射,興高采烈。海倫費(fèi)希爾博士 (Dr Helen Fischer) 在一場完美的TED演說時這樣解釋愛情的進(jìn)化史、生理基礎(chǔ)和社會重要性。

這是一篇完美解釋了愛情是什么東西的文章的鏈接:

What Is Love? Famous Definitions from 200 Years of Literary History

我認(rèn)為鮑勃·馬利 (Bob Marley) 說得很好:

“這是我人生中第一次真心相信,你發(fā)現(xiàn)一個人能讓你的世界變得完全不一樣。你會和他們分享從未和任何人提起的東西,而他們會包容你說的一切,并真的想要了解更多。你和他們分享對未來的希望、永遠(yuǎn)不會實(shí)現(xiàn)的夢想、從未達(dá)成的目標(biāo)、和生活丟給你的許許多多失望。每當(dāng)美好的事情發(fā)生時,你等不及要告訴他們,知道他們會和你一樣興奮。他們在你受傷時陪你痛哭,在你犯傻時陪你歡笑,而不因此感到尷尬。他們從不會傷害你的感情,不會讓你感到自己不夠好,相反,他們讓你拾起自信,讓你發(fā)現(xiàn)你自己的特別和美麗之處。當(dāng)他們在你身邊時,你不會感到任何壓力、妒忌或者競爭,取而代之的是安寧的平靜。你可以做你自己而不擔(dān)心他們會對你產(chǎn)生看法,因?yàn)樗麄儛鄣氖悄莻€真實(shí)的你。那些對大多數(shù)人來說微不足道的小事,例如一張紙條、一首歌、一段路,都成為了無價的珍寶,被你安藏在心中,用一生來珍視。你孩童時的回憶又浮現(xiàn)出來,那么清晰生動,就像你又回到了年幼的時候。生活中的色彩顯得更加明艷美麗。歡笑成為了日常生活的一部分,而在此之前歡樂對你來說那么稀少甚至不曾存在。白日里的一兩通電話能支持你度過一整天的工作而面帶笑容。他們在的時候,無需一直講話你也能感到十分充實(shí),只要他們在你身旁。以前你從來提不起興趣的事情變得吸引人了,因?yàn)槟阒滥羌聦δ莻€特別的人來說很重要。很簡單的事情也會讓你想起他們,即使只是一片純藍(lán)的天空,溫柔的微風(fēng),甚至視野里的一片烏云。即使你知道這樣可能會讓心靈在日后受傷,你還是打開了自己的心扉,你感受到了未曾想象過的愛和愉悅。你發(fā)現(xiàn)讓自己更易受傷是讓自己感受到真正喜悅的唯一途徑。你感受到力量,因?yàn)槟阒滥阌幸粋€真心的朋友,一個可能會對你保持忠誠直到永遠(yuǎn)的心靈伴侶。你的人生似乎完全改變了,變得熱血澎湃,變得更有價值。你唯一的希望和安全感來自于你確信他們是你生命中的一部分?!?/p>

尼爾·蓋曼(Neil Gaiman)曾寫過一篇完美的文章描述愛情是怎樣讓人變得脆弱的。

“你曾相愛過嗎?糟糕透了不是嗎?愛情讓你變得那么脆弱。它打開你的胸腔打開你的心房,墜入愛河意味著別人可以鉆進(jìn)你的心里,把你的心緒攪得亂糟糟。你筑起這么多圍墻,制造一整副鎧甲,就是為了不受到任何事物的傷害,直到這樣一個蠢兮兮的人,和任何其他蠢兮兮的人沒有任何不同,卻闖入了你蠢兮兮的人生中……你把自己的一部分獻(xiàn)給了他們。他們并沒有向你伸手要。他們某天做了些愚蠢的事情,比如親吻了你,或者對你笑了一下,然后你的人生就不再是你自己的了。愛情將你變作人質(zhì)。它鉆進(jìn)你心里。它把你從里到外侵蝕個遍,然后把你留在黑暗里哭泣,像‘也許我們只應(yīng)該做朋友’這樣簡單的話語,也會變成玻璃的碎片扎進(jìn)你的心里。它太傷人了。不僅僅在想象力。不僅僅在精神上。這是一種發(fā)自靈魂的傷痛,一種真的會從里到外把人撕裂的痛苦。我恨愛情?!?/p>

小貼士
1.現(xiàn)在點(diǎn)擊下面這行小三角,可以直接查看英文版了
2.拖到文末可以參與評論
3.如果有什么有趣、有用的Quora題目,可以發(fā)給我們。


點(diǎn)擊這里直接查看「英文版」

Aditya Gupta


Poets, authors, artists, philosophers, scientists and anthropologists have tried to define love for centuries. Love is one of the few subjects that has troubled, intrigued and fascinated everyone.


Lisa Hoffman put it beautifully 'Love is like pi natural, irrational and very important.'

The Movie Love and Sex has a wonderful quote on love: 'Love is ecstasy and agony, freedom and imprisonment, belonging and loneliness.'

Love is what holds you together when life tears you apart. Love is amongst the few things in the world that makes life worth living. It is one of the most strongest emotion that a human being is capable of feeling. Love is when other person's happiness, other person's dreams, other person's aspirations, other person's problems become your own. There is no separation between you and the other person. Love is when you see someone's face and instantly know what they are feeling. There is this telepathic connection that binds all the people that are in love. Love is the foundation of any happy relationship.

I think Robert Heinlein put it beautifully “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”

It seems to be only rational thing left in the universe. True love is attachment without the need of possession. Love is that special feeling in your gut, love is when you can feel your own heart beating on the sight of your lover. Love is when you spend all you time thinking about that person. Love is when you will travel all over the globe just to get a glimpse of the person you love. Love is when you stare at your smartphone all day long hoping that the person that you love will send a message that says that the person is doing okay. True love is always selfless and does not demand reciprocation from the other person.

Scientists have often defined love as a chemical imbalance that makes you feel an emotional high, exhilaration, passion and elation when you and the person that you love are together. Dr Helen Fischer in this wonderful TED Talk explains the evolution of love, it's biochemical foundations and it's social importance.


Here is a link to a wonderful article that tries to explain what love is all about:

What Is Love? Famous Definitions from 200 Years of Literary History

I think Bob Marley put it beautifully:

'Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

Neil Gaiman wrote a wonderful passage on how love makes you vulnerable:

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”



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