What are the most common life mistakes young people make?
年輕人在生活中常犯的錯(cuò)誤有哪些?
史努比說(shuō)他想當(dāng)Twitter的CEO,這聽(tīng)起來(lái)挺可笑的吧,但說(shuō)不定是件靠譜的事兒。
讓我用一秒鐘來(lái)告訴你為什么。
但是首先來(lái)談?wù)勀贻p人在生活中常犯的錯(cuò)誤:
有想法
你可能有哪些想法?全球變暖?好吧,如果你要改變世界,祝你好運(yùn)。戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)?好吧,如果你要阻止游說(shuō)業(yè)為2000億美元的辯護(hù)演化成戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng),祝你好運(yùn)。
她(他)應(yīng)該對(duì)我更好些的!再次…祝你好運(yùn)。
人們對(duì)我說(shuō):“如果每個(gè)人都想得和你一樣的話,世界將會(huì)變得一團(tuán)糟?!?/p>
哦是嗎?那我可以用一個(gè)字回答他(這個(gè)字將會(huì)破壞我后面關(guān)于維護(hù)自我的陳述)。
這個(gè)字是——糞
1890年,450萬(wàn)噸的糞被撒在曼哈頓的大街上,這些糞來(lái)自載著人們?nèi)スぷ鞯鸟R。
那曾是當(dāng)時(shí)最大的環(huán)境問(wèn)題。報(bào)紙的頭條寫(xiě)道:“到1950年,紐約城要被馬糞埋啦!”
你的看法對(duì)于這個(gè)問(wèn)題并沒(méi)有什么卵用。紐約城的居民有著上千條看法,都沒(méi)能解決這個(gè)問(wèn)題。
底特律熱愛(ài)機(jī)械的人們發(fā)明了叫做汽車的東西。
問(wèn)題得以解決。
做你今天想做的事。接受結(jié)果。你越接受,越能得到好的結(jié)果。
你解決世界問(wèn)題的方法就是你解決自己的問(wèn)題。相信我。
你生來(lái)就是做一些特別的的事的
你知道地球上有870萬(wàn)不同的物種。你認(rèn)為這些物種中數(shù)萬(wàn)億的生物都是由于特殊的目的才出現(xiàn)的地球上的?就像他們?yōu)榱顺蔀楦鑴⊙莩遥蚴菫榱私忾_(kāi)某個(gè)數(shù)學(xué)難題?
你的身體里目前存活著1000種不同的物種(我指的是物種,并非多達(dá)1000萬(wàn)的個(gè)體器官)。你的嘴里就有80個(gè)物種,所以你還是閉嘴吧。
我們身體中最后一個(gè)進(jìn)化的部分是我們的前額葉皮質(zhì)(譯者注:前額葉皮質(zhì)通常被稱為腦部的命令和控制中心。決策和自控等較高層次思考就在這里進(jìn)行。),它使我們能夠適應(yīng)于不同的環(huán)境。其他物種是沒(méi)有前額葉皮質(zhì)的。
前額葉皮質(zhì)能讓我們從炎熱的非洲遷移到寒冷的阿拉斯加,或者是這兩地之間的任何地方。但也是前額葉皮質(zhì)讓我們認(rèn)為我們有特殊的目標(biāo)。
我們特有的小小的個(gè)人目標(biāo)會(huì)為我們贏得嘉獎(jiǎng)和稱贊,讓我們感覺(jué)良好。
其實(shí)不然。
但如果你年輕的時(shí)候這樣想我是可以理解的。
所以我們得出了一個(gè)適用于任何年齡的結(jié)論:有三四個(gè)特長(zhǎng)或者樂(lè)善好施。
接著找到這些愛(ài)好的交叉領(lǐng)域。
然后在這個(gè)交叉領(lǐng)域成為世界上最棒的。這樣你就可以假裝去完成你的特別目標(biāo)。
我說(shuō)的“有特長(zhǎng)”并非是帶有一定目的地練習(xí)一萬(wàn)小時(shí)。也許是一千小時(shí),甚至更少。
如果你有5個(gè)特長(zhǎng),那你就是世界上唯一一個(gè)投入1000小時(shí)到這些特長(zhǎng)的交叉領(lǐng)域之中的人。
現(xiàn)在你在這一方面是世界上最棒的了。
談?wù)?/strong>
你真的不必喋喋不休。
一個(gè)人平均每天說(shuō)一萬(wàn)個(gè)單詞。你可以說(shuō)五千個(gè),或者啥都不說(shuō)。
前幾天我試著一整天都不說(shuō)話。這挺難的。但是當(dāng)我重新開(kāi)始說(shuō)話的時(shí)候,那感覺(jué)簡(jiǎn)直妙不可言。我無(wú)比珍惜從我嘴里蹦出來(lái)的每一個(gè)詞。
但是當(dāng)你年輕無(wú)知的時(shí)候,少說(shuō)話。
比如你19歲,你想談?wù)勀闳穗H關(guān)系中的地位問(wèn)題。
你才19歲,哪來(lái)的什么地位。
你造嗎?即使你50歲了你都不需要談?wù)摰匚弧:煤脤?duì)待他人,你就會(huì)有很高的地位。
如果你打了與你同居的人,你的地位不會(huì)有多高。喋喋不休是沒(méi)有卵用的。
這點(diǎn)對(duì)大多數(shù)事情都適用。
聽(tīng)我一句吧。
或者更好的是,只是傾聽(tīng)。
你沒(méi)有職業(yè)
平均每個(gè)人有14份職業(yè),這一數(shù)字可能還在增長(zhǎng)。
我的職業(yè)有:學(xué)者,程序猿,作家,網(wǎng)絡(luò)連續(xù)劇編劇,一家網(wǎng)絡(luò)設(shè)計(jì)公司的CEO,當(dāng)日交易員,對(duì)沖基金經(jīng)理(譯者注:采用對(duì)沖交易手段的基金稱為對(duì)沖基金(hedge fund)也稱避險(xiǎn)基金或套期保值基金。),金融作家,風(fēng)投人,小說(shuō)家,演說(shuō)家,網(wǎng)絡(luò)企業(yè)家(曾開(kāi)發(fā)過(guò)一個(gè)知名網(wǎng)站),交易員,研究提升自我的博主和小說(shuō)作者,播客,以及一些我還是不說(shuō)為好的職業(yè),因?yàn)檫@些職業(yè)比較尷尬,可能給我?guī)?lái)法律糾紛。
年輕人會(huì)說(shuō):“我不知道我長(zhǎng)大后能干什么?!被蛘撸骸拔蚁氤蔀橐幻t(yī)生?!?/p>
這兩句話99%都是錯(cuò)的。
幾周前我收到一封郵件:“我是一名護(hù)士,我有一筆21萬(wàn)美元的學(xué)生貸款要還,現(xiàn)在我甚至都不想當(dāng)護(hù)士了,我該怎么辦?”
我不知道。你可能完了。
我需要X才能得到Y(jié)
“我得長(zhǎng)得好看(或是有一份好工作)才能找到男(女)朋友?!?br>“我得先有一百萬(wàn)美元才能寫(xiě)一本小說(shuō),才能放松放松?!?br>“我得環(huán)游環(huán)游世界才能獲得人生經(jīng)歷。”
“我父母說(shuō)什么我就得做什么。”
“我得去健身房才能變得健康?!?/p>
這是很多人沒(méi)有認(rèn)識(shí)到的現(xiàn)實(shí)。
有很多路通向那神秘的“Y”。別假設(shè)你認(rèn)識(shí)這些路。
我前幾天告訴我女兒一些事。我說(shuō):“你知道我總是說(shuō)的那句話嗎?”
她說(shuō):“知道。‘總是存在一個(gè)好的理由和一個(gè)真實(shí)的理由?!?/p>
“好吧,那我再告訴你另外一個(gè)。
‘處處有后門?!?/p>
“那是什么意思,”她問(wèn)。我們當(dāng)時(shí)正在華盛頓廣場(chǎng)公園漫步。她很羨慕地看著那些經(jīng)過(guò)的大學(xué)生,我想她也想成為一名大學(xué)生。
“你不知道它什么意思也沒(méi)關(guān)系,”我說(shuō)?!拔覜](méi)法解釋,只是不要假設(shè)前門是你得到想要的東西的唯一一條路。”
現(xiàn)在史努比說(shuō)他想成為Twitter的CEO。
這是不可能的。但是他說(shuō)他能做到。也許吧,誰(shuí)知道呢?
我敢肯定他的一生說(shuō)過(guò)1000件可笑的事。但是你造嗎?其中的1%發(fā)生過(guò),并且使他的人生大不同。
我們這些人沒(méi)說(shuō)過(guò)這些可笑的事。所以沒(méi)有可笑或者精彩的事發(fā)生在我們身上。
如果你不這樣做,不好的事情就會(huì)發(fā)生
“如果我不上大學(xué),我就找不到工作?!?br>“如果我沒(méi)有房子,我就沒(méi)有立足之地。我就會(huì)在房租上浪費(fèi)錢?!?br>“如果我沒(méi)有錢,我就什么東西都不能買了。人們就不喜歡我了?!?/p>
社會(huì)的力量是強(qiáng)大的。我們每天接受到2500條媒體消息,告訴我們哪些事應(yīng)該做,哪些不應(yīng)該。
這2500條消息都是虛假的。我怎么知道的?因?yàn)槿绻鼈兪钦_的,人們不必付錢來(lái)告訴你這些消息。
他們知道這些消息都是虛假的,所以他們付錢來(lái)告訴你這些消息。
如果你相信這些消息,你覺(jué)得自己能參軍了,然后你有兩個(gè)選擇A選擇參戰(zhàn),B選擇同時(shí)遠(yuǎn)足和學(xué)習(xí)編程。
然而你不能。
(真正的軍隊(duì)是這樣的)
別讓媒體消息左右你的大腦。
別讓媒體消息預(yù)測(cè)未來(lái)。因?yàn)樗鼈冾A(yù)測(cè)的是假的未來(lái)。
你不能離開(kāi)
年輕人覺(jué)得他們不能離開(kāi)。
我曾多少次因?yàn)楹ε码x開(kāi)而多用一年時(shí)間維持一段關(guān)系,待在一座城市,一個(gè)崗位或者學(xué)校。
我害怕我的決定會(huì)真正地傷害某些人。
如果你不開(kāi)心或者你想嘗試一些新的事情,你可以拍拍屁股立馬走人。
你必須為自己辯解
在接下來(lái)的60年里,許多人都會(huì)恨你。
事實(shí)上,你試著幫助越多的人,恨你的人就會(huì)越多。我不知道這條法則為何存在,但它確實(shí)存在。
你每幫助十個(gè)人,就會(huì)有一個(gè)人恨你。這時(shí)你就想辯解,想解釋,想爭(zhēng)論,想反駁。
你不能改變恨你的人的想法。無(wú)論如何,他們都是要恨你的。他們會(huì)在你的腦子里徘徊,讓你一醒來(lái)就想起他們。
在腦海中刪除他們。刪除他們的評(píng)論,他們的郵件,他們和你的關(guān)聯(lián),他們與你的任何接觸。你不能改變他們。你能做的是改變自己,對(duì)他們漠不關(guān)心。
恨你的人越多就意味著愛(ài)你的是恨你的人的十倍,只是他們沒(méi)有說(shuō)過(guò)愛(ài)你。
/-/-/-
當(dāng)他們冒犯你的時(shí)候,不要辯解。
/-/-/-
別忘了一點(diǎn):
未來(lái)的你由現(xiàn)在的你主導(dǎo)。只有你。
你今天做的事會(huì)對(duì)你未來(lái)發(fā)生的事產(chǎn)生直接影響。
我曾賺過(guò)很多錢然后不幸地丟了它們,我害怕過(guò),抑郁過(guò),被欺騙過(guò),逃避過(guò),受傷過(guò),哭泣過(guò),我還自殺過(guò)。
這些都無(wú)益于未來(lái)的我。
在我處于最低谷和最黑暗的時(shí)刻我是怎么做的呢。那時(shí)安眠藥就在我的眼前,當(dāng)我的孩子熟睡時(shí)我卻輾轉(zhuǎn)反側(cè),內(nèi)心處于恐慌中無(wú)法入眠。
但是我每天都會(huì)散步。
我不會(huì)再與我感覺(jué)不善的人交往。這對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)非常痛苦。但是要比瀕死和辯解好點(diǎn)。
我會(huì)多與友善的人交往。
我開(kāi)始每天閱讀。只有60%的人會(huì)在大學(xué)畢業(yè)后重新捧起書(shū)本。如果你屬于那60%,你就比每個(gè)人都遙遙領(lǐng)先了100倍。(譯者注:根據(jù)下圖我分析作者這里原文的數(shù)字寫(xiě)錯(cuò)了,為了方便理解,就改了數(shù)字。)
圖片翻譯:
關(guān)于閱讀的驚人事實(shí)
33%的高中畢業(yè)生在他們的余生不會(huì)再讀書(shū),42%的大學(xué)畢業(yè)生在畢業(yè)后不會(huì)再讀書(shū),57%的新書(shū)沒(méi)有被讀完,70%的美國(guó)成年人近五年沒(méi)有進(jìn)過(guò)書(shū)店,80%的美國(guó)家庭在去年沒(méi)有買過(guò)或讀過(guò)一本書(shū),孩子讀的書(shū)越多,越能理解他人的情感,每天讀一小時(shí)某一領(lǐng)域的書(shū),會(huì)使你在七年后成為國(guó)際專家。
我開(kāi)始每天寫(xiě)下十條想法,然后我把這些想法告訴人們,我不期待他們有什么反饋,我只希望這些想法能夠幫助他們。
我努力使自己感恩擁有的每件東西。感恩我有兩條手臂,兩個(gè)女兒,一個(gè)朋友,慢慢地兩個(gè)朋友,然后三個(gè)。
你越懂得感恩,你越能收獲值得感恩的東西。
這樣做,我所有年少時(shí)犯下的錯(cuò)誤都得到了改正。
James Altucher
Snoop Dogg says he wants to be CEO of Twitter. This sounds ridiculous but maybe it isn't.
I'll tell you why in a second.
But first: common life mistakes young people make:
- HAVE AN OPINION
What opinion can you possibly have? Global warming? Ok, good luck changing the world. War? Ok, good luck stopping the $200 billion defense lobbying industry from having war.
She/He should treat me better! Again...good luck.
People say to me, 'if everyone thought like you then the world would be a mess.'
Oh really? I have one word to say back (which breaks my later statement about defending myself).
'Manure'
4.5 million tons of manure were being dropped on the streets of Manhattan in 1890, EVERY YEAR, by horses carrying people to work.
That was the big environmental problem of the day. 'NYC will be buried in horse manure by 1950!' screamed the headlines.
It doesn't matter what your opinion about this was. None of the people living in NY solved the problem despite the 1000s of opinions.
People with passion for mechanics in Detroit made something called a car.
Problem solved.
Do what YOU love to do today. Surrender to the results. The more you surrender, the more results there will be.
The way you solve the world's problems is to solve your problems. Then trust.
-THERE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL YOU ARE HERE TO DO
You realize there are 8.7 million different species on the planet. Do you think the trillions of members of all of them were put on this Earth with a special purpose? Like they have to be an opera singer. Or solve a hard math problem?
There's 1000 different species (species, not individual organisms, which are around 10,000,000) living on your body right now. 80 in your mouth. So you better shut up.
The last part of our body to evolve was our pre-frontal cortex, which allows us to adapt to different environments. No other species has one.
This let us move from hot Africa to cold Alaska and every place in between.
But it also is the part of our body that makes us think we have a special purpose.
Our own unique little, private purpose which will win us awards and acclaim and make us feel better.
We don't.
But I understand you feel that way if you are young.
So here's the solution and it works and can be applied at any age: get good at three or four or give things.
Then find the intersection.
Then become the best in the world at the intersection. That's how you can pretend to do your special purpose.
When I say 'get good' it doesn't mean 10,000 hours of practice with intent.
Maybe it means 1000 hours. Or even less.
Then if you get good at 5 things you've now the only one in the world who has put 1000s of hours into the intersection.
Now you're the best in the world at that.
- TALKING
You really don't have to talk as much as you do.
The average human says 10,000 words a day. Maybe cut that in half. Or say nothing.
I tried saying nothing for a whole day the other day. It's hard. But it felt like magic when I finally spoke again. I valued every word that came out of my mouth.
But try to talk less when you're young and know nothing.
Like when you're 19 years old and you want to talk about the status of your relationship.
There is no status. You're 19.
Guess what. Even if you're 50 you don't need to talk about it. Treat the other person nice. Then your status will be good.
If you hit the person you are living with then your status won't be good.
Talking won't do anything.
This holds for most things.
Listen to me.
Or better yet, just listen.
-YOU HAVE NO CAREER
The average person has 14 careers. And that number is probably going up.
My careers have been: academia, computer programmer, writer, 'web series creator', CEO of a web design company, day trader, hedge fund manager, writer about finance, venture capitalist, book writer, speaker, internet entrepreneur (made a website that got popular), deal maker, self-improvement blogger and book writer, podcaster, and a few more I'd rather not say because they are either horribly embarrassing or might get me into legal trouble.
Young people say, 'I don't know what I want to do when I grow up.' Or 'I want to be a doctor'.
These two statements have a 99% chance of being wrong.
I got an email a few weeks ago: 'I'm a nurse and I have $210,000 in student loan debt and now I don't even want to be a nurse. What should I do?'
I don't know. You're probably screwed.
- I NEED X TO GET Y
'I need to look good (or have a good job), to meet a boyfriend/girlfriend.'
'I need to have a million dollars before I can write a novel and relax'.
'I need to go to travel the world to get life experience.'
'I need to do what my parents say.'
'I need to go to go a gym to get healthy'.
Here's the reality that many people don't get.
There are many paths to that mysterious 'Y'. Don't assume you know what they are.
I told my daughter something the other day. I said, 'you know that quote I always tell you?'
She said, 'Ugh. 'There's always a good reason and a real reason'.'
'Ok, I'm going to tell you another one.
'There's always a back door.' '
'What does that even mean,' she said. We were walking around Washington Square Park. She was looking with envy at all the college students walking around. I think she wants to be one.
'It's ok if you don't know what it means,' I said. 'I can't explain it. Just don't assume the front door is the only way to enter something you want.'
Right now Snoop Dogg is saying he wants to be the CEO of Twitter.
That's never going to happen. But he can say it can. And then maybe it will. Who knows?
I'm sure he's said 1000 ridiculous things in his life. And you know what? 1% of them have happened and have created an amazing life for him.
The rest of us don't say any of these ridiculous things. So nothing ridiculous and amazing happens to us.
- IF I DON'T DO THIS THEN BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN
'If I don't go to college I can't get a job'
'If I don't get a house, I won't have roots. I'll waste money on rent.'
'If I don't have money, I won't be able to buy anything. People won't like me.'
Society is very powerful. We get 2500 media messages a day telling us our Dos and our Dont's.
All 2500 of those message are wrong. How do I know? Because people wouldn't have to pay to show you those messages if they are right.
They know the messages are wrong so they pay to put them in front of you.
If you believe the messages then you would think you can join the army, and either A) choose to go to war or B) go hiking and learn computer programming at the same time.
You can't.
(the real army)
Don't let the media messages program your brain.
Don't let the media messages predict the future. Because it's a fake future.
- YOU CAN'T LEAVE
Young people think they can't leave.
How many times did I spend an extra year in a relationship, or a city, or a job, or a school, because I was afraid to leave.
Afraid I had the power to truly hurt someone with my decision.
You can get up and leave right now if you are not happy or if you want to do something new.
- YOU HAVE TO DEFEND
In the next 60 years, a lot of people are going to hate you.
In fact, the more people you try to help, the more people will hate you. I don't know why this rule exists but it does.
For every ten people you help, one person will hate you. And you will want to defend, to explain, to argue, to respond back.
You can't change their mind. They are going to hate you no matter what. They are going to try and get in your head so you wake up thinking about them.
Delete them. Delete their comments, their emails, their connections to you, any contact you have with them. You can't change them. You can change YOU to not care.
The more haters you have, it means you will have 10 times the number of people who love you but are silent.
When they offend, don't defend.
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Don't forget one thing:
You are the coach of your future self. You are the only coach of your future self.
Everything that happens in your future is a direct result of what you do today.
I've made a lot of money and lost it miserably and got scared and depressed and cheated and ran and hurt and cried and was suicidal.
None of that helped my future self.
Here's what did, when I was at my lowest and darkest moments. When I had the pills right in front of me. When my kids were asleep in their bedrooms and the night kept ticking away in my brain, refusing to let me sleep, refusing to stop my heart from racing in panic.
I took a walk every day.
I stopped dealing with the people who I felt bad around. This was very very painful to me. But better that then dying. Or defending.
I spent more time with the people who I felt good to be around.
I started reading every day. Only 40% of people who graduate college ever read a book again. If you are in the 60% you are 1000x ahead of everyone else.
I started writing down 10 ideas a day. Then I started sending ideas to people, without expectation back, with the hopes that the ideas would help people.
I forced myself to practice being grateful for everything I had. Two arms. Two daughters. A friend. Then two friends. Then three.
The more grateful you are, the more you attract things to be grateful for.
And by doing so, all the mistakes I made in my youth started to change.
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