中英對照文本
I grew up in the former Soviet Union. My parents and I lived in a communal apartment with nine other families. When my parents wanted to be romantic they would send me to look out the window.
我成長在前蘇聯(lián)。我父母和我與其他九個家庭住在一棟集體公寓。每當(dāng)我父母想浪漫一下，他們都會讓我望向窗外。
One day my dad said, “So what did you see out the window?” I said, “Our neighbors being romantic.” He said, “How could you tell?” I said, “Because their son is looking at me.”
一天我爸說：「那你在窗外看到了什么?！刮艺f：「我們的鄰居在浪漫?！顾f：「你怎么知道的？」我說：「因?yàn)樗麄儍鹤釉诳粗??！?/span>
My parents laughed. At that moment, I felt that I was in the presence of love. As a child, I made the discovery that laughter must be the way people communicate to one another that they’re happy.
我父母笑了。當(dāng)時，我覺得自己見證到了愛。作為一個小孩，我發(fā)現(xiàn)笑聲一定是人們向他人表達(dá)自己開心的方式。
Did you know that there has been actual research into the relationship between laughter and happy marriages? For over four decades, Dr. John Gottman, Professor of Psychology at the University of Washington, has studied thousands of couples in both successful relationships and not-so-successful ones. “Couples who laugh together,” he concludes, “l(fā)ast together.”
你知道真的有研究調(diào)查過笑聲與幸福婚姻的關(guān)系嗎？四十年來，約翰·戈特曼博士，華盛頓大學(xué)的心理學(xué)教授，研究了上千對有著成功或不那么成功婚姻關(guān)系的夫妻。「一起歡笑的夫妻」他總結(jié)到，「廝守終生?！?/span>
Here’s how it works: we make each other happy first and then laughter reassures us that we are on the right track. The fading away of laughter may be the best way to tell if your relationship has gone off course.
它是這樣的：我們首先令對方開心，然后笑聲使我們確信我們走在正軌上。笑聲的逐漸消失或許是判斷你們關(guān)系是否偏離正軌的最佳方式。
So here is what I want you to start doing: listen for laughter in your relationship.
因此這是我希望你開始做的：傾聽你們關(guān)系中的笑聲。
And not just any laughter – listen for moments when you share laughter together. If that isn’t happening just about every day, it is time to do something about it.
不是隨便什么笑聲——聆聽你們一起歡笑的時候。如果它哪天沒有出現(xiàn)，那就是時候做點(diǎn)什么了。
Let me give you an example from my own life. One night, I was putting my son Alexander to bed. He was cranky and crying. My wife said to me, “I’ll show you how to put the baby to sleep.” She took Alexander from me and put him in the bassinet and put the bassinet on top of the dryer. Two minutes later he was sound asleep. I said “Oh great. All other kids are going to go to daycare center. I’ll have to drop him off at the laundromat. Oh, that bundle? Yeah, that one is mine.”
讓我給你一個我自己生活中的例子。一天晚上，我正在哄我兒子亞歷山大睡覺。他又哭又鬧。我老婆跟我說：「我給你示范一下怎么哄寶寶睡覺?！顾龔奈沂种薪舆^亞歷山大，把他放在搖籃里，然后把搖籃放在烘干機(jī)上。兩分鐘后他就睡得很香了。我說「太好了，其他小孩都要去日托中心。我只要把他送到自動洗衣店。噢，那一包呀？沒錯，那包是我的。」
My wife did not laugh. As a comedian, I should have caught that. In my show, if a joke doesn’t get a laugh, I analyze what went wrong. Perhaps change the set-up, or a punch line to get the laughter back. I use laughter as a gauge of the happiness of my audience. At that time, I did not understand that it could be applied to my personal life as well. If I had understood that laughter was a gauge of happiness, I might have saved my marriage.
我老婆沒有笑。作為一個喜劇演員，我心里有數(shù)了。在我的節(jié)目里，如果一個笑話沒有贏得笑聲，我會分析哪里出錯了。也許會修改鋪墊或者笑點(diǎn)來贏回笑聲。我用笑聲來衡量我觀眾的幸福。當(dāng)時，我不知道它也可以應(yīng)用到我的個人生活中。如果我知道笑聲是幸福的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，我或許就可以挽救我的婚姻。
As I started to research the science of happiness, I learned that when there is a genuine connection between people, laughter is the first thing that happens as a confirmation of a happy relationship.
當(dāng)我開始研究幸福的科學(xué)。我了解到當(dāng)人們之間產(chǎn)生真誠聯(lián)系時，笑聲的出現(xiàn)是幸福關(guān)系的第一個保證。
The intimacy comes next and then people get married and live together.
然后是親密感，人們由此結(jié)婚并一起生活。
When things are not working, laughter is the first thing to go.
當(dāng)事情不盡人意時，笑聲是最先失去的。
Second thing to go is intimacy.
第二失去的是親密感。
Third thing is your house.
第三是你的房子。
Of course, marriages and relationships break up for all sorts of reasons. But, I can say with confidence, if you’re not laughing, there is trouble ahead.
當(dāng)然，婚姻和關(guān)系破裂有各種各樣的原因。但我可以有把握地說，如果你們沒有在笑，那就有麻煩了。
So, how do you get the laughter back if you’ve lost it? Every relationship is different, of course, but there is one constant: To laugh together, you need to be together. And that literally means time together.
因此，你如何找回你們已經(jīng)失去的笑聲？當(dāng)然，每個人的關(guān)系都不一樣，但有一個共同點(diǎn)：要一起歡笑，你們必須在一起。而它就是字面意思的共處。
You need to start by making a decision that time together is important and it’s not negotiable. Set a date night, take a dance lesson, a cooking class. Doesn’t matter what you do. You just have to do it.
你需要開始下決心，共處是重要的而且是不能討價還價的。安排約會之夜，上舞蹈課，烹飪課。做什么不重要，你只需要去做。
According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, American couples sleep an average 7.2 hours a day, work 8.5 hours a day, and watch television 2.4 hours a day. Then they wanted to know how much time are we intimate with one another. They combined hugging, kissing, cuddling and lovemaking. It was one minute a day.
根據(jù)美國勞工統(tǒng)計(jì)局，美國的夫妻平均每天睡 7.2 小時，每天工作 8.5 小時，每天看電視 2.4 小時。他們還想知道我們花多長時間和對方親熱。他們算上了擁抱，親吻，依偎和做愛。結(jié)果是每天一分鐘。
So if you’re doing it for 20 minutes, you’re using somebody else’s minutes…And they don’t roll over.
因此，如果你花 20 分鐘和老婆親熱，你也是在使用其他人的時間……而且它們不能轉(zhuǎn)存。
I believe that if you understand the connection between happiness and laughter, you’ll be way ahead of those statistics. You will have better or even best chance to have a long, lasting happy relationship.
我相信如果你明白幸福與笑聲之間的聯(lián)系，你就會遙遙領(lǐng)先這些數(shù)據(jù)。你將更有甚至一定會擁有一段長久、終生的幸福婚姻關(guān)系。
Just like the gas gauge in your car let’s you know how much gas you have in your tank, laughter can let you know how much happiness you have in your relationship.
就像你車上的油量表讓你知道油缸里還有多少油，笑聲可以讓你知道你們的關(guān)系里還有多少幸福。
The goal is to live happily ever laughter. And maybe make love more than one minute a day.
目標(biāo)是生活在歡聲笑語中。還有或者每天親熱超過一分鐘。
I’m Yakov Smirnoff for Prager University.
我是雅科夫·史默諾夫，為 PragerU 制作。
譯校：FungChuh
