Posted: 10/22/11 11:36 AM ET
東部時(shí)間 2011年10月22日 上午11時(shí)36分
Whether we know it or not, we all possess core values that drive our existence. These values are the pillars that support the infrastructure of our lives. They are the reason why we get up in the morning. They are also the fabric of who we are as individuals, because our values -- things that are important to us -- give us meaning and a sense of identity. Through the years, our core values tend to be neglected or put aside, especially if we have become depressed or preoccupied with excessive worry over life's unavoidable difficulties. As a result, our self-esteem takes a big hit because we have lost our sense of direction. And, without that direction and purpose we don't know who we are. Realigning ourselves with our core values will gives us insight into where we can begin to put our energy immediately, and what to begin focusing on as part of the process of rebuilding our self-esteem.
不管我們知道與否，我們都擁有驅(qū)動(dòng)我們活下去的核心價(jià)值。這些價(jià)值是支持我們生命基礎(chǔ)的支柱；它們是我們?cè)绯科鸫驳睦碛?；它們還是我們作為個(gè)體的表現(xiàn)，因?yàn)槲覀兊膬r(jià)值——那些對(duì)于我們重要的東西——給了我們意義和認(rèn)同感。這些年來，我們的核心價(jià)值觀往往被忽視或丟到一邊，特別是當(dāng)我們抑郁或是因過分擔(dān)心我們生活中不可避免的困難而斤斤計(jì)較時(shí)。結(jié)果因?yàn)槭チ朔较蚋?，我們的自尊受到打擊。沒有目標(biāo)和方向，我們不知道自己是誰。重新調(diào)整我們自己的核心價(jià)值觀，將使我們很快知道作為重建自尊過程中的部分，何處用力，關(guān)注何物。
When we rediscover our core values and make a conscious decision to live by them as best we can, we gradually begin to see changes in our lives. And, over time, we start to feel better because we are in harmony with ourselves.
當(dāng)我們重新發(fā)現(xiàn)我們的核心價(jià)值，并作出合理的決定盡我們最好的（努力）以之生活，就將很快看到生活的變化。隨著時(shí)間的推移，我們開始感覺更好，因?yàn)槲覀冏晕液椭C無間。
When I give this assignment to my patients ("Rediscovering Core Values"), many report the exercise brings up discomfort because the direct and deliberate focusing on the "self" feels overly indulgent. For example, feelings of shame are inspired, perhaps from the many years of deflecting personal attention. In many cultures it is the norm to put oneself second to the needs of others and to think of you as part of a whole, instead of a separate individual.
當(dāng)我給我的病人們這個(gè)任務(wù)（重新發(fā)現(xiàn)核心價(jià)值），很多人報(bào)告這個(gè)任務(wù)帶來不適，因?yàn)橹苯踊蛘吖室怅P(guān)注自我感覺太過個(gè)性張揚(yáng)。比如，個(gè)人注意受多年影響，（讓人覺得）羞恥感受到鼓勵(lì)。在很多文化中，把個(gè)人放在他人需要之后，認(rèn)為人是整體的一部分，而不是獨(dú)立個(gè)體。
But one of the many aspects of building self-esteem is in fact, identifying and acknowledging our separateness in relation to others. But we need to keep in mind that the healthy separateness we are discussing here is not intended to mean indifference or even contentiousness with others. If we can appreciate our uniqueness and value as a person, we may be able to appreciate that in others too.
但建立自尊的一方面是，實(shí)際上確定并承認(rèn)與他人的獨(dú)立性。但是我們需要記住，我們這里討論的健康的獨(dú)立性，并不意味著對(duì)他人冷漠或者和他人對(duì)著干。如果我們能欣賞我們的獨(dú)特性和作為一個(gè)人的價(jià)值，我們也就能夠欣賞他人身上的獨(dú)特之處。
Exercise練習(xí)
The following is a list of possible life values that may inspire ideas about our own personal core values that are important to us. Keep in mind that "life" itself cannot be used as a value for this exercise because it is too broad. The idea is to get as specific as possible.
下面是可能激發(fā)那些對(duì)我們很重要的個(gè)人核心價(jià)值的人生價(jià)值列表，記住，對(duì)于這個(gè)練習(xí)，“生命”本身不能夠被作為一個(gè)價(jià)值，因?yàn)樗珜挿毫?。（我們的）想法是盡可能具體。
Material things are also not workable for this exercise because they are not the kinds of values we are talking about. Therefore, things like money, 401k's, real estate, cars even our iPods and smartphones are not considered values.
物質(zhì)的東西對(duì)這個(gè)練習(xí)同樣無效，因?yàn)樗鼈儾皇俏覀冋務(wù)摰膬r(jià)值。即是說，比如錢，401保險(xiǎn)，房產(chǎn)，車，甚至我們的iPod和智能電話都不在考慮之列。
Please place a check mark next to the values that feel right for you. Or as mentioned, come up with your own:
請(qǐng)?jiān)谀阌X得對(duì)的價(jià)值旁邊打勾，或者如提到的那樣，寫下你自己的。
_____Commitment to Family _____Commitment to Spouse/Partner__對(duì)家人承諾 __對(duì)配偶/伙伴承諾
_____Commitment to Community _____Commitment to God
__對(duì)社區(qū)承諾 __對(duì)上帝承諾
_____Spirituality _____Health
__靈性 __健康
_____Nutrition _____Exercise
__注重營(yíng)養(yǎng) __注重運(yùn)動(dòng)
_____Integrity _____Responsibility__誠(chéng)信 __責(zé)任心
_____Self-Respect _____Honesty
__自重 __正直
_____Self-Reliance _____Sense of Humor
__自主 __幽默
The next step is to think about what it means to begin living into at least two of these values one time per day. In other words, what actions are we willing to commit to taking each day that are in accord with these values?
下一步是一天一次從這里找至少兩個(gè)價(jià)值想想它們意味著什么。換句話說，我們每天采取什么行為還符合這些價(jià)值？
For example, if one of our identified core values is our sense of Integrity and we are going to align our behaviors with that value, we may decide to make amends with a friend or an acquaintance we have fallen out of communication with in the past. We may call up a family member and perhaps open up a dialogue about an issue that is unresolved between us. Or we may be inspired to follow through on a task or a goal we have put off for a while that has been eating away at us and making us feel inadequate.
比如，如果我們認(rèn)同的一個(gè)核心價(jià)值是誠(chéng)信，而且我們準(zhǔn)備使我們的行為做到那一點(diǎn)，我們可以決定在朋友或者之前屬于聯(lián)系的熟人（幫助下）做一些修正。我們可以叫上一位家人，開啟就之前之間懸而未決的問題的一段對(duì)話?；蛘呖梢詮闹爸贫ǖ模七t的一個(gè)任務(wù)或者目標(biāo)中受到啟發(fā)，使我們找到不足。
If another identified core value is say, our spirituality and we are making a conscious decision to align our behaviors with it, we may choose to engage in some mindfulness meditation in the morning before work or afterwards. We may choose to attend services at a place of worship, we may even pick up reading materials that inspire us and reconnect us to whatever our higher power is. We may decide to be in the presence of nature such as walking in a park, on the beach or hiking in the forest. Or we may even decide to just sit somewhere quietly during our lunch break and take in the sights around us.
如果另一個(gè)認(rèn)同的核心價(jià)值是我們的靈性。同時(shí)我們深思熟慮后決定使行為達(dá)到這一點(diǎn)，我們可以選擇早晨上班前或之后，做一些正念的事情。也可以選擇參加禮拜堂的服務(wù)，我們甚至可以拿起那些啟發(fā)我們的讀物，喚回自己的那些更高的能量。可以決定去親近自然，比如在公園，海灘散步或者在森林遠(yuǎn)足。甚至我們可以午餐后選個(gè)地方安靜的坐著，看看周圍的風(fēng)景。
So, after identifying two of your most important core values, use the following exercise to begin:
在選出兩個(gè)你最重要的核心價(jià)值后，使用下面的練習(xí)開始：
Example:例子：
Core value #1 - Spirituality or connecting to higher power
核心價(jià)值1 - 靈性或者鏈接更高的能量
Actions I will take today:
今天我要采取的行動(dòng)：
1) I will practice mindfulness and/or meditation exercises every morning for 15-20 minutes before I go to work.
1）我會(huì)在每天早晨工作前練習(xí)正念或者冥想15到20分鐘。
2) I will attend church, synagogue or mosque, etc., 1 time per week for services and
2）我要去基督教堂，猶太教堂或清真寺，等等。每周服務(wù)一次。同時(shí)在那里和1到2位新認(rèn)識(shí)的人交談。
while I am there, I will engage in conversation with 1-2 new people.
3) I will do 30 minutes of mindfulness walking in nature at a park, beach, forest, etc.
3）我會(huì)做公園，海灘或者森林做30分鐘的正念散步。
Exercise: List of Actions/Actions
練習(xí)：行為列表
(The list will comprise of planned actions/activities you will schedule or commit to one time per day.)
（這份名單將包括計(jì)劃采取的行動(dòng)/活動(dòng)，安排或承諾每天一次。）
Core value #1___________________________________________________
核心價(jià)值1______________________________________
Actions I will take today:
今天我要采取的行為：
1)_____________________________________________________________
1）______________________________________
2)_____________________________________________________________
2）______________________________________
______________________________________________________________
3)_____________________________________________________________
3）______________________________________
______________________________________________________________
Core value #2____________________________________________________
核心價(jià)值2______________________________________
Actions I will take today:
今天我要采取的行為：
1)_____________________________________________________________
1）______________________________________
2)_____________________________________________________________
2）______________________________________
______________________________________________________________
3)_____________________________________________________________
3）______________________________________
If we do this exercise one time per day, every day for one month, we may notice a change or a shift in our thinking about ourselves and about our place in the world.
如果我們每天一次的做這個(gè)練習(xí)，一個(gè)月后我們會(huì)注意到變化或者我們對(duì)自己和世界看法的轉(zhuǎn)變。
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