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一個(gè)非常無用的態(tài)度

作者:Nicholas  Boothman  

譯者:Shayne Yeats

Any two people can have wildly different attitudes toward the same set of experiences. However, when two people react to the same experience with the same attitude, they share a powerful natural bond. Attitudes have the tendency to be infectious, and because they are rooted in emotional interpretation of experiences,they can be distorted and shaped; they can be wound up or wound down.

任何兩個(gè)擁有相似人生經(jīng)驗(yàn)的人也會(huì)有截然不同的態(tài)度。然而,當(dāng)這兩個(gè)人持有相同的態(tài)度時(shí),就會(huì)有一種強(qiáng)有力而又非常自然的紐帶將他們聯(lián)系在一起。態(tài)度有一種傳染的傾向,因?yàn)樗鼈兩钌畹馗灿趥€(gè)人情感對(duì)經(jīng)驗(yàn)的反應(yīng)中,它們可以被扭曲并重塑;也可以被削弱或加強(qiáng)。

What happens when people lose control and become angry? They look belligerent (body language), their voice tone is harsh and they use menacing words. They can be very scary to be around. From the point of view of making people like you, or even getting willing cooperation,we call this a Really Useless Attitude. How often have you seen infuriated parents berating their children for knocking over the bananas at the supermarket? Or bored, uninterested shop assistants? Or cranky, impatient doctors? They are all putting out useless attitudes.

當(dāng)人們失去控制或生氣的時(shí)候會(huì)發(fā)生什么?他們變得好爭(zhēng)斗起來(肢體語言),他們的語氣變得尖刻并會(huì)使用粗暴的字詞。他們害怕被人圍觀。從想讓人們喜歡你的觀點(diǎn)或得到愉快的合作來看,這真的是一個(gè)非常糟糕的態(tài)度。你是不是會(huì)時(shí)常在超市里看見憤怒的家長(zhǎng)責(zé)備自己的孩子把香蕉給弄翻在地上?或者是無聊、冷淡的店員?又或者是脾氣暴躁的醫(yī)生?他們都在向外界發(fā)出無用的態(tài)度。

how to make people like you

如何讓別人喜歡你

I'm not saying whether this is right or wrong; I'm just pointing out that from a communications standpoint it doesn't deliver the message very well. Assuming they have a message. And that's often the point. Useless attitudes tend to come from people who don't know what they really want from their communication.

我并不是在評(píng)判這種態(tài)度是對(duì)還是錯(cuò),而是從交流的角度出發(fā)指出這不是一個(gè)很好的表現(xiàn)。假如他們有什么話要說的話,而這也是非常重要的一點(diǎn)。無用的態(tài)度常常來自于那些不知道該從談話中獲取什么信息的人那里。

Remember, the "K" in "KFC" stands for "Know what you want." If you don't know what you want, there's no message to deliver and no basis for connecting with other people.

記住字母"K”在"KFC"中所表達(dá)的意思:“知道你所想要的是什么?!奔偃缒悴恢滥阆胍氖鞘裁吹脑?,你就不會(huì)去向別人傳達(dá)某種信息,同時(shí)也沒有和對(duì)方建立聯(lián)系的基礎(chǔ)。

Most people think in terms of what they don't want as opposed to what they do want, and their attitudes reflect this. "I don't want my boss yelling at me anymore"comes with a whole different attitude than "1 want my boss's job" or "I want to be promoted." Similarly, "I'm sick of selling neckties all day long" sends a completely different attitude and set of signals to your imagination than does "I want to run a charter fishing boat in Honey Harbor."

大部分人覺得他們所不想要的東西都是與他們想要的東西相矛盾的,他們的態(tài)度就可以反映出這點(diǎn)?!拔以僖矡o法忍受老板沖我大喊大叫了”變成了全然不同的態(tài)度“我想要我老板的飯碗”或“我想要升職”。類似的,“我厭倦了每日推銷領(lǐng)帶的無聊生活”所傳達(dá)出來的態(tài)度與“我想到蜜蜂灣去租艘漁船享受享受”截然不同。

Your imagination is the strongest force that you possess—stronger than willpower. Think about it. Your imagination projects sensory experiences in your mind through the language of pictures, sounds, feelings,smells and tastes. Your imagination distorts reality. It can work for you or against you. It can make you feelterrific or miserable. So the better the information you can feed into your imagination, the better it can organize your thinking and your attitudes and ultimately your life.

你的想象力是你所擁有的最強(qiáng)有力的一股力量------比意志力還要強(qiáng)。好好想想吧。是你的想象力將諸如圖片、聲音、感覺、嗅覺和味覺這些感官體驗(yàn)投影到你的頭腦中。你的想象力歪曲了現(xiàn)實(shí)。它可以為你所用,也可以阻擾你。所以,你植入到自己的想象中的信息越是積極,它就會(huì)讓你更好的思考,更棒的態(tài)度和更美的人生。

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