合作與分享:為什么你必須積極地與別人分享天賦
Shortly before he passed away, my father came to see me play the part of Schroeder in a community theatre production of You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown. It’s a night (and a lesson) I’ll never forget.
父親去世前的那一陣子，曾來看過我在社區(qū)劇場的一場演出。我在查理·布朗的《你是個好人》中飾演施羅德的角色。那是一個我永遠(yuǎn)無法忘記的夜晚，是我永遠(yuǎn)銘記的一節(jié)課。
My Father Laughed at Me (and I loved it)
父親朝我笑（我愛死這個了）
I can still see him sitting there beside my mother in the front row. His skin was pale. His frame was lean. He looked so tired and weak. Just months before, he’d been diagnosed with Leukemia, a thing that seemed intent on doing what it came to do in a quick and merciless manner.
我看見父親和母親坐在第一排。他顯得如此疲倦與脆弱，皮膚蒼白，坐也坐不直。就在幾個月之前，他被診斷出有白血病，而那種疾病似乎企圖用一種及其迅速和殘忍的方式奪走他的生命。
But what I remember most about that night was the sound of his laughter. From the stage and all through the performance, I could hear him chuckling and giggling in a way I hadn’t heard him do in quite some time. It was the laugh I’d always loved, and on that night, it was the sweetest sound I’d ever heard.
但我對那晚最深的印象卻是他貫穿全場的笑聲。我聽見他吃吃地笑，那是我最喜歡的笑聲，但我已有很久沒有聽到過了。而在那個晚上，這父親的笑聲可以說是最最甜美的聲音了。
It was, however, a fluke that I was even in the play. I hadn’t pursued the role, or any other role, or much of anything else I cared about since high school. Long ago, I’d put such things away in order to become practical.
其實我出現(xiàn)在舞臺上根本就是一個偶然。我沒演過這個角色，其他的也沒有，從高中起我就不重視這些事了。很久以前，我把這些事情放在一邊，以便讓自己變得更加實際一點。
Who I Used to Be
曾經(jīng)的我
Yes, when I was a small boy, I made my first trip to a movie theatre, saw Tom Thumb, and insisted on reenacting it for a string of hapless babysitters.
是，當(dāng)我還只是個小男孩時，我去電影院看過一次《Tom Thumb》，而后我就堅持著想要將它改編成一些不幸的保姆的故事。
Yes, after receiving a cassette recorder for my eighth Christmas, I used it to produce a series of little radio plays I wrote.
是，自從我在八歲生日時拿到那個錄音機(jī)起，我就曾用它錄制過一系列短小的自創(chuàng)廣播劇。
Yes, when I was in the fifth grade, I saw my first live play, went home, and immediately wrote my own, one my classmates and I performed for our Home and School Christmas program.
是，當(dāng)我五年級時，我看了第一場戲劇，而我一回到家 ，就開始寫我自己的劇本，并在家校聯(lián)合圣誕派對上和同學(xué)一起演出。
Yes, I went on to write dozens of sketches, stories, poems, and plays; become a member of my high school drama club; and even win a few awards.
是，我曾經(jīng)寫了一堆一堆的劇本、故事、詩歌……我還成為了高中戲劇社的一員，甚至贏得了一些獎項。
But that was all just grade school and high school stuff. Life’s a ball and then you grow up. You get a degree. You get a job. You get real.
但那終究只是小學(xué)和中學(xué)東西。生活就像一個球，而人終究會長大。當(dāng)你拿到了一個學(xué)位，找到了一份工作，你自然會開始務(wù)實起來。
Who I Tried to Become
我曾向往的未來
You see, I was going to be the first in my family to attend college and I took that pretty seriously. I wanted to make everyone proud. Especially my father.
你也許知道，我是我們家第一個上大學(xué)的人，因此我十分看重這件事。我想讓所有人為我驕傲，特別是我的父親。
I thought I couldn’t afford to waste my time on things I loved. They seemed so silly, trivial, and impractical. Sure, the university offered degrees in things like English and Theatre, but come on. I had to earn a living.
我認(rèn)為不能在我的喜好上浪費時間。它們看起來是如此的瑣碎和不實用。當(dāng)然，大學(xué)里也開設(shè)了關(guān)于英語和戲劇的科目，但是伙計們，我至少得活下去。
No one I knew made their living writing stories or poems or plays, and the town in which I was raised contained no actors or artists, at least not any that I knew of or that anyone paid attention to.
我不知道任何一個能光靠劇本，小說和詩歌謀生的人，而在我土生土長的小城中，也沒住著任何演員或是畫家——至少沒有一個是我或是人們所注意的。
So I took stock of my more practical skills, like math. I’d heard somewhere (Okay, more like everywhere) that engineers made good money and were in high demand, and I headed in that direction.
所以我決定提高那些更實用的技能，比如說，數(shù)學(xué)。我曾在什么地方聽說（好吧，似乎“到處”更為妥當(dāng)）那些設(shè)計師們有著很高的薪水。于是我把目標(biāo)定在了那個方向。
I boxed up all the silly stuff, writing and acting and goofing about, and threw it in an attic somewhere. I shut the door. I moved on.
我把所有那些愚蠢的東西——寫作和演戲——塞到箱子里，并把它們?nèi)釉陂w樓里的某個角落。隨后我關(guān)上房門，繼續(xù)我的生活。
Getting Down, Down, Down to Business
工作，工作，再工作
And almost immediately, the sadness set in. The sadness became listlessness. The listlessness became depression. The depression became constant.
而幾乎是同時，悲傷奔涌而出。它變成懶惰，變成沮喪，揮之不去。
Unhappy with engineering, I tried computer science, another respectable and profitable career path. Same results. I tried accounting, did really well in my classes, and even received an additional scholarship. More sadness.
在設(shè)計上碰了釘子后，我試著從事另外一項可敬而有利可圖的工作——信息科技，卻得到了一樣的結(jié)果。我還試過當(dāng)一個會計，開始我干得很好，甚至拿到了獎學(xué)金，可到最后呢？還是無盡的悲傷。
Every day, as I walked across campus, I’d glance sideways at the English building, but I’d already completed the required writing and literature courses, courses I loved but considered a mere distraction.
每天，當(dāng)我經(jīng)過學(xué)校的英語學(xué)院時，總會側(cè)身看一眼學(xué)院的走廊。但我已經(jīng)把規(guī)定的文學(xué)作業(yè)完成了——把那些我喜歡的卻又容易使人分心的作業(yè)完成了。
In those courses and and all the others in which I was given writing assignments, I’d hear the same thing. “You’re a very good writer, you know?” my professors would say, and they’d often point to my work as an example for my classmates.
每一次當(dāng)我交上寫作作業(yè)時，不管是哪一門課，總會聽見教授說：“你知道嗎，你是個很好的作家！”他們也經(jīng)常將我的作業(yè)當(dāng)作范例給同學(xué)們講解。
But I wouldn’t listen. I was out to make my father proud, and to me that had nothing to do with the things I loved.
但我聽不進(jìn)去。我出來就是為了給爸爸爭光，而那些我曾喜歡的事情現(xiàn)在跟我一點關(guān)系都沒有。
Moving On and Further Downward
繼續(xù)向前
I eventually settled on a marketing major in order to settle on something, anything, get the hell out of there, and get a job. Maybe then, I thought, I could find a way to prove I had something on the ball.
為了能解決一些問題，任何問題，我最終看上了一個市場營銷的活兒，并終于從他媽的學(xué)校里出來找了個工作。我想，那時候也許我就可以找到一個方法來證明我還是有兩把刷子的。
But the job world wasn’t much different. I worked hard, received a lot of praise and a few awards and promotions, but never felt at home. The depression only grew larger and darker, and just as I’d done in college, I drifted from one thing to another while feeling lost.
但有了工作的世界也沒改變多少。我努力工作，受到了許多嘉獎，也拿到了一些獎項，還升了幾次職，但我從未有過自由自在的感覺。我像在大學(xué)里一樣，從一個地方飄泊到另一個地方，悲傷和沮喪日益堆積，我變得迷茫。
The Me My Family Never Knew
那個無人知曉的我
Somehow, in the midst of all that, I met Carol, fell in love, and got married. Together we produced and raised two great kids, Megan and Seth, who continue to blow my mind.
不知怎么地，我遇上了卡洛。我們墜入愛河，并結(jié)了婚。我們有了兩個孩子：梅甘和賽斯，兩個讓人激動的小家伙。
And yet, I still couldn’t shake the sorrow. I knew I was not the person I once was, and it struck me that the people in my home, the ones I loved the most, had no idea that such a person had ever even existed.
那時，我還是無法驅(qū)趕悲傷。我知道我不是曾經(jīng)的那個我，但有一件事對我的打擊很大：我的家人，那些我最親愛的人們，甚至都不知道真正的那個我曾經(jīng)存在過。
In fact, when a friend of mine paid a visit and showed some old video tapes of me acting and performing in skits and plays and amateur movies my friends and I had made, Carol looked at me as if she had no idea who she married. “I’ve never seen that side of you,” she said, “I love it.”
事實上，當(dāng)我的一個朋友拜訪我并和我一起重溫我之前演的那些短劇、話劇和我們編劇的業(yè)余電影時，卡洛看著我，仿佛她不認(rèn)識自己的丈夫。“我從不知道你還干過這些事兒，”她說，“棒極了?！?b class="label bg2" jquery1320559839765="145">
But I was still busy struggling and straining to be practical and failing miserably at it. The only practical thing I was succeeding at was feeling practically dead inside.
但我還在掙扎著努力著想要變得實際一點，雖然每次都慘敗而歸。而我唯一變得實際的地方就是成功地認(rèn)識到我的心已經(jīng)實際地壞死了。
Saying Yes for a Change
迎接改變
Then came my father’s Leukemia. My attempts to make him proud, in the way I thought I should, weren’t really panning out, and the time to do so was slipping away. Life had not gone as planned.
很快父親就病魔纏身了。我那些讓他為之自豪的愿望，以我認(rèn)為對的方式，事實上都沒有成功。但時間卻在悄悄溜走；生活偏離了軌道。
I think that’s why I agreed to do the play. It reminded me of better days, days when my friends and I had fun, and it had been a long, long time since I’d allowed myself to do anything that sounded like fun.
我覺得這就是為什么我會同意演這部戲。它讓我記起了那些更悠閑的日子，那些我和我的朋友們曾經(jīng)快樂的日子；畢竟我放縱自己去嘗試任何聽起來好玩的新鮮事物的日子，已經(jīng)過去很久了。
My friend Jennifer had called to see if I’d be interested. The theatre group was shy one actor.
我的朋友杰妮芙打電話來問我有沒有興趣。劇組需要一個演員。
“Umm, a musical?” I asked.
“嗯，是音樂劇嗎？”我問。
“Uh-huh.” she said.
“是哦！”她說。
There were reasons to say no. I was in my thirties and it had been fifteen years or more since I’d done any acting. I’d never been in a musical. Whatever singing voice I might have once had (I actually sang in a few weddings when I was younger) had been ground down by the cigarettes I smoked to escape my restlessness.
我有理由拒絕。我已經(jīng)三十多了，而且已經(jīng)有至少十五年沒有演過一場戲。我更沒有演過任何音樂劇。不管我曾經(jīng)有怎樣的歌喉（年輕時我曾經(jīng)在幾次婚禮上唱過歌），都肯定已經(jīng)被那些用來驅(qū)散疲勞的尼古丁破壞得一干二凈了。
And it was community theatre, something many people regarded as the K-mart of the performing arts and the last bastion of ridiculous, wannabe actors. We would be a bunch of goofy people having a goofy time doing a goofy thing.
何況那是個社區(qū)劇場，是某個被大家視為表演藝術(shù)之廉價市場和滑稽演員的最后堡壘的地方。我們肯定會被看作是一群在臺上做絕對傻事的傻瓜。
“Okay.” I said.
“好吧。”我說。
It was a blast. The people involved in the production were smart, warm, supportive, and fun. The practices were an escape from my troubles and depression. I felt alive. I felt happy. I felt a lot like the person I used to be.
那個話劇拿到了開門紅。參與的人都很聰明、體貼、有趣而且積極。那些排練則是我逃脫沮喪和麻煩的有效途徑。我覺得我重生了。我覺得我回到了那個曾經(jīng)的我。
We did three performances. Friends came, Carol and the kids came, and on a Saturday night, my parents came. They all laughed, but no one laughed as hard as my father did.
我們連演了三場。朋友們來了，卡洛和孩子們來了，而在一個星期六的晚上，我父母也來了。大家都笑的很歡，但沒有一個笑得像爸爸那么歡。
My Father’s Delight
父親的喜好
Oh, how he laughed, and I wasn’t the only one who noticed. Back stage, the others grinned and remarked how much he seemed to be enjoying himself.
啊，他笑得多歡啊！而且也不是只有我一個人注意到了這點。后臺那兒，其他人也笑著討論他看起來多開心。
Afterward, when it came time to go out and greet the audience, a few of the other cast members and I made our way to the front row. My dad was there, smiling like a big kid, working to rise from his seat. When he stood, he embraced me.
劇終后，謝幕的時候到了。當(dāng)我和其他幾個演員站到前臺時，我看見我爸坐在那邊，笑得像個老頑童，正努力著站起來。他站起來后，擁抱了我。
He shook his head, looked at us through watery eyes, and said, “I just want you to know you sure made an old man happy tonight. I haven’t laughed that hard in a very long time, and I really needed something to laugh about.”
他點了點頭，熱淚盈眶。他說：“我只是想讓你們知道你們今天晚上真的讓一個老人開心至極。我很久沒有笑得這么厲害了，而我發(fā)現(xiàn)我真的需要一些能讓我好好笑一笑的東西。”
My new friends and I had made an old man, my old man, happy, and we’d done it by doing something that made us happy.
我和我的新朋友們讓一個老人——我的老人——開心，同時我們也從中得到了快樂。
What a Little Joy Can Do
小歡樂的功力
I wondered how much happier I could have made him through the years if I had simply followed my heart and pursued the things I loved. I wondered how much joy I could bring to everyone I love, if I just did things that brought me joy too.
我開始想象如果那些年我追求自己所愛的事，能帶給他多少倍于現(xiàn)在的歡樂；我想象著如果我做了那些我喜歡的事，該帶給我愛的人們多少快樂。
I don’t know if I always made my father proud, or if that even mattered. What I do know for certain, however, is that one night, a night when he and I both needed it most, I made him laugh, and that makes me proud.
我不知道父親是否一直為我驕傲，甚至不知道這是否重要。我只知道一件事：那就是今晚，是我們倆都最需要的一個晚上，我讓他笑了出來，而那使我驕傲。
That’s why you absolutely, positively have to share your gifts. And I’m not talking about the the respectable, admirable, or sensible ones. I’m talking about the ones that make you giddy, the ones that make you feel like you might be floating.
這就是為什么你必須積極地與別人分享天賦。我并不是在說那些可敬的、明智的、令人欽佩的天賦，我是指那些會讓你頭暈、會讓你輕飄飄的天賦。
Yes, you too have something to give, something you love, something you enjoy, something that lights you up inside. Those are the gifts you have to share because you have a need to share them, and because there’s someone out there who has a need to receive them.
是的，你肯定也有可以付出的東西；那些你愛的東西、那些令你享受的東西、那些點燃了你的內(nèi)心的東西。它們就是你應(yīng)該分享的東西，因為你需要分享它們，而你身邊的某個人也需要它們。
Don’t be a miser and hoard your gifts. Share them. The world is waiting.
別做個窩藏天賦的財迷；大膽地分享出來，整個世界都在等你。
