The search for meaning is a constant theme in our lives and we try to find it in many different ways. I believe that meaning can be found in the way we add to the world. Let me explain.
Step One: Take control
Austrian psychiatrist and survivor of the holocaust Victor Frankl tells us in Man's Search for Meaning that between stimulus and response there is a gap, and in that gap lies the whole of our experience. Unlike Pavlov's dogs, we are free to choose our responses to the things that come our way. Many – perhaps most – people go through life on autopilot, reacting in the same habituated ways they have learned over the course of their life, often rehearsing the scripts they developed as children.
In adult life, many of these scripts are maladaptive and only serve to impoverish our experience and damage us and those we love. When we react defensively to a criticism, when we start to get angry because we are stuck in a traffic jam, when we keep on smoking despite knowing how bad it is, we are ignoring the gap and abdicating our freedom.
But the truth is that we are free – we are not robots, we are not like dogs salivating when a bell rings. We are pulling our own strings and when the stimulus comes we can take control, change our response and hence change our life. Of course, the power of our habits is strong and keeps pulling us back, but the gap is always there, even after a long lifetime of unconscious behavior, and over time we can expand the gap and become more free. In The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People, Steven Covey calls this being proactive, the first step towards a life of meaning. In truth, we have always been in control, but we need to realize this before can move on.
Step Two: Adding Value
Once we have seen that we can change our own life and construct our own experience, we are able to orchestrate things so that we experience greater meaning.
But what gives meaning to our lives? Is it money, property, a successful career, a big car, an attractive spouse or partner? I'm sure most people would agree that these things in themselves do not add lasting and profound meaning to us.
Albert Einstein said that 'only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile,' and I believe that a life of service to others is what truly brings meaning. I prefer to use the term adding value, since this describes what I mean more accurately.
The term 'service' suggests that we have to give up our jobs and money to go help the poor and destitute. I know several people who have done just this, and they have certainly found happiness and peace in their choice of lifestyle. But a life of adding value does not mean abandoning your own needs and desires. It is not the same as sacrifice. Far from it – when we truly add value to the lives of others, we cannot help but receive value ourselves.
Examples of this kind of synergy abound in nature. For example, tree roots are often surrounded by fungal growths that take nutrients from the trees. Having no chloroplasts of their own, the fungi cannot synthesize the precursors of respiration, and so they piggyback on the trees' ability to do this. In return, the tree gets to use the fungi's vast subterranean network, extending its own reach and sucking in more nutrients from the soil. The soil, of course, gets this all back – and more – when the tree dies.
Our own body is, perhaps, the ultimate example of synergy in nature, all organs and system working together to create a wonderful entity where the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.
Adding value is the only real way to live a meaningful life. Victor Frankl said that we must detect the meaning in our own lives, and I think what he meant by this was that we need to figure out the best way of adding value.
Step Three: Do What You Love
So the question remains, how can we add value? I believe the answer to this is surprisingly simple.
To quote Steve Jobs in a speech he gave in 2005, 'Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking.'
Through Apple, Steve Jobs has undoubtedly added immense value to the world. He did it by following his heart and has been richly rewarded for it. The same can be said for many famous, successful and wealthy people.
The formula is simple. Find what you love. Do it. Add value. Be a success. Perhaps the first step is the hardest. Do you know what you love? There is little more important in life than finding out.
Finally, some food for thought. In Making a Life, Making a Living, Mark Albion cites a study carried out by Srully Blotnick. The careers of 1,500 business school graduates were tracked from 1969 to 1980 and were split into two groups: group A said they wanted to make money first so they could do what they really wanted later, and group B said they would follow their interests first, regardless of financial considerations. At the end of the study, there were 101 millionaires. All but one came from group B.
Henry David Thoreau 說“大多數人都生活在一種安靜的絕望當中，”Miguel Torga,一位偉大的葡萄牙作家說過“生活的意義是我們賦予她的，我們的富足，我們的熱情，我們的驕傲—抑或我們的懦弱。”
尋找生命的意義是我們生活中一個永恒的主題，我們用各種不同的方法去嘗試發(fā)現。我相信如果我們可以為這個世界帶來些什末就會發(fā)現生命的意義。讓我解釋如下。
第一步：取得控制
奧地利心理學家、大屠殺中的幸存者Victor Frankl告訴我們在人們尋找意義的時候，在激勵和反應中間存在一個缺口，這個缺口在我們一生的經歷當中都是存在的。與Pavlov的狗不同的是，我們可以對生命中出現的事物自由地做出我們的反應。許多乃至大多數人駕駛著自動舵穿梭于自己的生命歷程中，總是習慣性地用他們在課堂中學來的方法做出同樣的反應，經常上演他們兒時就編寫好的劇本。
在成人的生活中，許多這樣的劇本已經不再適應環(huán)境，只能讓我們的經驗趨于枯竭，讓我們和我們所愛的人受到傷害。當我們面對批評做出自我防御的姿態(tài)時，當我們被困在交通堵塞時開始發(fā)脾氣時，當我們明知道吸煙有害卻依然去做時，我們忽視了那個缺口，也放棄了我們的自由。
但事實是我們是自由的，我們不是機器人，我們不象狗一樣聽到鈴聲響起就開始垂涎。我們是自己的編劇，當面對各種條件時我們可以去控制，去改變我們的反應，從而去改變我們的生活。
第二步：增加附加值
一旦我們發(fā)現我們可以改變自己的生活并組建自己的經歷，我們就可以精心編排，這樣我們的經歷就會更加有意義。
但是生活中什末是有意義的呢？金錢，財產，成功的職業(yè)，豪華的汽車，光彩照人的配偶或是合作者？ 我相信大多數人都認同這些并不能為我們帶來持續(xù)的、深刻的意義。
愛因斯坦說過“只有為他人而存在的生命才是值得的，”我也相信能服務于他人的生命才是能帶來真正的意義。 我更喜歡用增加附加值這個說法，因為這樣更能清楚地表達我想要描述的東西。
“服務”這個詞告訴我們需要放棄我們的工作和金錢去幫助貧困的人。我知道不少這樣做的人，他們都在自己所選擇的生活方式中感受到了幸福和安寧。但是能夠增加附加值的生活并不意味著要放棄你個人的需要和愿望。這不等同于犧牲，甚至相距甚遠— 當我們真正的為別人的生活帶來附加值時，我們不是在幫助別人而是在豐富我們自己。
這樣協作互利的例子在自然界中大量存在。比如，樹根的周圍經常被某種真菌環(huán)繞著，它們從樹種汲取養(yǎng)分。因為自己沒有葉綠體，它們無法合成呼吸需要的某種細胞，因此它們依賴樹的能力去完成。反過來，樹木可以利用這種真菌的位于地表下的廣闊的網絡，延伸其從土壤中獲取養(yǎng)分的能力。當然土壤將會獲得全部作為回報，甚至更多—當樹木死去的時候。
我們自己的身體也許是自然界中協作的終極典范，所有的器官和系統(tǒng)一起工作從而創(chuàng)造了一個絕妙的個體，使得整體相比于任何一個部分都顯得十分強大。
增加附加值是讓生命有意義的唯一方式。Victor Frankl說我們必須去探索發(fā)現各自生命的意義，我想他的意思是指我們需要去尋找各自最好的方式來增加附加值。
第三步：做你熱愛的事情
這里問題又來了，我們怎樣才能增加附加值？我相信答案是驚人的簡單。
引用以下Steve Jobs2005年的演講時說的話，“你的工作將會占據你生命中的一大部分，真正也是唯一能讓你獲得滿足的就是去做你認為偉大的工作。而唯一能做出偉大工作的方法就是熱愛你所做的工作。如果你還沒有找到它，請接著尋找。”
在蘋果公司的發(fā)展過程中，Steve Jobs毫無疑問的為這個世界帶來了巨大的價值。 他追隨自己的內心因此也獲得了巨大的回報。同樣的道理對于許多有名的，成功而富有的人都是成立的。
道理很簡單。找到你熱愛的事，然后去做。增加價值。 取得成功。也許第一步最為艱難。 你知道自己熱愛什末嗎？生活中沒有什末比找到它更為重要的了。
最后，提供一些參考。在“生活，生存”中， Mark Albion引用了Srully Blotnick進行的一項研究。 在1969至1980年追蹤1500多名商學院的畢業(yè)生的職業(yè)經歷，結果分為2組，A組說他們希望先掙錢然后就可以再去做自己喜歡的事情；B組說他們將追隨自己的興趣，不考慮經濟上的因素。 在研究結束時，有101為百萬富翁。只有1名不是來自B組。
