我們翻譯這篇文章的理由
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“成功癮君子”寧愿選擇特別而不是快樂
作者：ARTHUR C. BROOKS
譯者：鄧舒丹
校對：葉永健
策劃：張一丹 & 劉蕊
The pursuit of achievement distracts from the deeply ordinary activities and relationships that make life meaningful.
對成就的追求讓人不再關注最普通的活動和人際關系，而正是這兩者讓我們的生命有意義。
I Imagine reading a story titled “The Relentless Pursuit of Booze.” You would likely expect a depressing story about a person in a downward alcoholic spiral. Now imagine instead reading a story titled “The Relentless Pursuit of Success.” That would be an inspiring story, wouldn’t it?
我在想象中閱讀一本叫《對酒精的不懈追求》的書。你可能期待它講了一個悲慘的故事，關于一個人陷入酒精的泥淖?，F(xiàn)在想象讀另一本書，題目是《對成功的不懈追求》。它于是成為了一個勵志的故事，不是嗎？
Maybe—but maybe not. It might well be the story of someone whose never-ending quest for more and more success leaves them perpetually unsatisfied and incapable of happiness.
可能吧---但也許不是。它可能是關于一個一直追求著更多成就的人，但他卻永遠不滿足，無法獲得幸福的故事。
Physical dependency keeps alcoholics committed to their vice, even as it wrecks their happiness. But arguably more powerful than the physical addiction is the sense that drinking is a relationship, not an activity. As the author Caroline Knapp described alcoholism in her memoir Drinking: A Love Story, “It happened this way: I fell in love and then, because the love was ruining everything I cared about, I had to fall out.” Many alcoholics know that they would be happier if they quit, but that isn’t the point. The decision to keep drinking is to choose that intense love—twisted and lonely as it is—over the banality of mere happiness.
身體上的依賴讓酗酒者沉湎于他們的惡習，哪怕酗酒讓他們痛苦。但是，比身體上癮更有力的說法是喝酒是一種關系而非活動。正如作家卡洛琳?柯奈普在她的回憶錄《酗酒：一個愛的故事》里所描繪的酗酒，“故事是這樣的：我陷入了愛河，因為那種愛毀滅了所有我在乎的事情，所以我必須脫身?！焙芏嗑凭习a的人知道戒酒會讓他們更快樂，但是那并不是問題所在。選擇繼續(xù)喝酒等于選擇那種深沉的愛--- 盡管它扭曲孤獨—而不是純粹平凡的快樂。
Though it isn’t a conventional medical addiction, for many people success has addictive properties. To a certain extent, I mean that literally—praise stimulates the neurotransmitter dopamine, which is implicated in all addictive behaviors. (This is basically how social media keeps people hooked: Users get a dopamine hit from the “l(fā)ikes” generated by a post, keeping them coming back again and again, hour after miserable hour.)
雖然這不是傳統(tǒng)上的醫(yī)學上癮，對于很多人來說，成功有著讓人上癮的特質。某種程度上確實如此---贊美促進神經遞質多巴胺的分泌，后者與所有的致癮行為有關。（社交媒體讓人著迷的原因也在于此：發(fā)朋友圈獲得的贊讓用戶得到多巴胺的刺激，于是他們一次又一次，一刻不停地發(fā)朋友圈）
But success also resembles addiction in its effect on human relationships. People sacrifice their links with others for their true love, success. They travel for business on anniversaries; they miss Little League games and recitals while working long hours. Some forgo marriage for their careers—earning the appellation of being “married to their work”—even though a good relationship is more satisfying than any job.
但是成功對人際關系的影響類似于酒精上癮。人會犧牲與他人的聯(lián)系來換取他們的摯愛---成功。他們在結婚紀念日那天工作出差；因為長時間工作而錯過小聯(lián)賽和音樂演奏會。有些人為了事業(yè)而放棄了婚姻---得到一個“和工作結婚”的稱號---即使一段良好的關系比任何工作更能讓人感到滿足。
Many scholars, such as the psychologist Barbara Killinger, have shown that people willingly sacrifice their own well-being through overwork to keep getting hits of success. I know a thing or two about this: As I once found myself confessing to a close friend, “I would prefer to be special than happy.” He asked why. “Anyone can do the things it takes to be happy—going on vacation with family, relaxing with friends … but not everyone can accomplish great things.” My friend scoffed at this, but I started asking other people in my circles and found that I wasn’t unusual. Many of them had made the success addict’s choice of specialness over happiness. They (and sometimes I) would put off ordinary delights of relaxation and time with loved ones until after this project, or that promotion, when finally it would be time to rest.
很多像心理學家芭芭拉·基林格這樣的學者指出，為了不斷獲得成功，人們愿意犧牲自己的快樂而選擇超負荷工作。我對這種現(xiàn)象也略知一二：因為我曾經向一個密友坦白，“我寧愿成為特別而不是快樂的人”。他問其中緣由?！懊總€人都能做一些讓人快樂的事情---和家人一起度假，與朋友一起放松……但并不是所有人能夠成就偉大的事業(yè)”。朋友對此嗤之以鼻，但是我開始詢問身邊的其他人，結果發(fā)現(xiàn)自己并不特殊。他們很多人已經決定了要像成功上癮者那樣偏愛特別而非快樂。他們（有時候我也這樣）會推遲平日里休閑的快樂以及和愛的人在一起的時間，直到這個項目或者那個晉升結束，最后才是休息時間。
But, of course, that day never seemed to arrive.
然而，毫無疑問，那一天永遠不會到來。
The desire for success may be inherent to human nature. The great American psychologist William James once noted, “We are not only gregarious animals, liking to be in sight of our fellows, but we have an innate propensity to get ourselves noticed, and noticed favorably, by our kind.” And success makes us attractive to others (that is, until we ruin our marriages).
這種對成功的渴望或許源自人的本性。偉大的美國心理學家威廉·詹姆斯曾說，“我們不僅是群居動物，喜歡獲得同伴的關注，并且天生就傾向于讓自己得到同類的正面關注”。成功讓我們在別人眼里有吸引力（即：直到我們毀滅了自己的婚姻）。
But specialness doesn’t come cheap. Apart from some reality-TV stars and other accidental celebrities, success is brutal work, and it requires sacrifices. In the 1980s, the physician Robert Goldman famously found that more than half of aspiring athletes would be willing to take a drug that would kill them in five years in exchange for winning every competition they entered today, “from the Olympic decathlon to the Mr. Universe.” Later research found that up to 14 percent of elite performers would accept a fatal cardiovascular condition in exchange for an Olympic gold medal—still a shockingly high number, in my estimation.
但是，成為特別的人并不容易。除了某些真人秀節(jié)目里的明星和其他偶然成名的人，獲得成功是一項殘酷的工程，需要犧牲。在二十世紀八十年代，羅伯特·高曼醫(yī)生有一個著名的發(fā)現(xiàn)：在那些有抱負的運動員里，超過一半的人愿意服用一種會在五年里致命的藥物來換取贏得今日參加的所有比賽，比賽范圍“從奧林匹克十項全能到宇宙先生”不等。后來研究發(fā)現(xiàn)有高達百分之十四的精英運動選手愿意用患上致命的心血管疾病的風險來換取奧林匹克金牌---在我看來，這一比例仍然高得令人觸目驚心。
We can find this choice in ancient myth, as well. In Homer’s Iliad, Achilles must decide whether to fight in the Trojan War—promising certain physical death but a glorious legacy—or return to his home to live a long and happy life with his loved ones but die in obscurity. He describes his choice thusly:
That two fates bear me on to the day of death.
If I hold out here and I lay siege to Troy,
my journey home is gone, but my glory never dies.
If I voyage back to the fatherland I love,
my pride, my glory dies ...
Achilles, success addict par excellence, chooses death.
我們也可以在古代神話中看到這種選擇。在荷馬的《伊利亞德》里，阿基琉斯必須選擇參加特洛伊戰(zhàn)爭---意味著他一定會死，但是將會永垂不朽---或者回家，和愛的人一起幸福地生活，長命百歲，但是一生將默默無聞。他這樣描繪自己的選擇：
That two fates bear me on to the day of death.
If I hold out here and I lay siege to Troy,
my journey home is gone, but my glory never dies.
If I voyage back to the fatherland I love,
my pride, my glory dies ...
阿基琉斯，最優(yōu)秀的成功上癮者，選擇了死亡。
Unfortunately, success is Sisyphean (to mix my Greek myths). The goal can’t be satisfied; most people never feel “successful enough.” The high only lasts a day or two, and then it’s on to the next goal. Psychologists call this the hedonic treadmill, in which satisfaction wears off almost immediately and we must run on to the next reward to avoid the feeling of falling behind. This is why so many studies show that successful people are almost invariably jealous of people who are more successful.
不幸的是，成功是無休止的（和我的希臘神話糅合一下）。目標是滿足不了的；大多數(shù)人從來沒有感覺“足夠成功”過。那種亢奮只能延續(xù)一兩天，接著又是下一個目標。心理學家把這個稱作“快樂水車”，滿足感幾乎一下子就消失了，我們必須追尋下一個刺激獎勵，才能避免感到落后于人。這也是為什么許多研究表明成功的人幾乎都嫉妒那些更成功的人。
They should get off the treadmill. But quitting isn’t easy for addicts. For people hooked on substances, withdrawal can be an agonizing experience, both physically and psychologically. Anxiety and depression are very common after one quits alcoholic drinking, for example. Indeed, the novelist William Styron famously cited the cessation of his lifelong heavy drinking as part of the onset of the clinical depression he chronicled in his book Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness. Some chalk this up to loneliness in the absence of alcohol—remember, it’s a relationship.
他們應該從這種心理束縛解脫出來。但是對于上癮者來說，放棄并不容易。對于那些對藥物上癮的人來說，戒斷是痛苦的經歷，身體和心理上均是如此。比如，一個人戒酒常常會受到焦慮和抑郁的干擾。對于小說家威廉·斯泰倫也是這樣，他在Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness里記錄了自己如何暫時中止持續(xù)了一生的酗酒，并導致了臨床抑郁的著名經歷。失去了酒精的陪伴，一些人將抑郁歸咎為孤獨---要記住，這是一種關系。
Success addicts giving up their habit experience a kind of withdrawal as well. Research finds that depression and anxiety are common among elite athletes after their careers end; Olympic athletes, in particular, suffer from the “post-Olympic blues.” I saw this withdrawal all the time in my years as the president of a think tank in Washington, D.C. Prominent people in politics and media would step back from the limelight—sometimes of their own volition, sometimes not—and suffer mightily. They talked of virtually nothing but the old days. Many suffered from depression and anxiety.
當對成功上癮的人放棄他們的習慣時也會經歷某種戒斷。研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，抑郁和焦慮在精英運動員結束職業(yè)生涯后很常見；奧林匹克運動員尤為如此，他們會遭受“奧運后的憂郁”的折磨。在作為華盛頓特區(qū)一家智庫的主席期間，這種戒斷一直出現(xiàn)在我的視野內。政治和媒體領域的精英會從聚光燈下退身---有時是自動選擇，有時則是因為巨大的痛苦。他們所談論的幾乎都是舊日時光。很多人被抑郁和焦慮所困擾。
“Unhappy is he who depends on success to be happy,” wrote Alex Dias Ribeiro, a former Formula 1 race-car driver. “For such a person, the end of a successful career is the end of the line. His destiny is to die of bitterness or to search for more success in other careers and to go on living from success to success until he falls dead. In this case, there will not be life after success.”
“一個人要依靠成功才能獲得快樂是不快樂的人” 前F1賽車手亞歷克斯·迪亞斯·里貝羅這樣寫道?！皩τ谶@種人來說，成功的職業(yè)生涯的結束就是賽道線的終點。他的命運要么是含恨而終，要么是從其他領域追求更多的成就，在成功中延續(xù)生命，直至走向死亡。在這種情形里，成功之外沒有生命”。
American culture valorizes overwork, which makes it easy to slip into a mindset that can breed success addiction. But if you’ve seen yourself in my description, don’t lose hope. There is plenty you can do to retrain yourself to chase happiness instead of success, no matter where you are in your life’s journey. Let me suggest that you consider three steps, whether you are at the peak of your career, trying to work your way up the ladder, or looking at success in the rearview mirror.
美國文化肯定超負荷工作的價值，這很容易形成一種滋生成功癮的思維模式。但是，如果你在我的描述中看到了自己，不要失去希望。你可以做許多事情來制約自己，讓自己追逐幸福而不是成功，不管你正處于人生的哪個階段。你可能事業(yè)順風順水，可能正向上拼搏，或者正從后視鏡里品味著成功，我建議你考慮這三個步驟。
The first step is an admission that as successful as you are, were, or hope to be in your life and work, you are not going to find true happiness on the hedonic treadmill of your professional life. You’ll find it in things that are deeply ordinary: enjoying a walk or a conversation with a loved one, instead of working that extra hour, for example. This is extremely difficult for many people. It feels almost like an admission of defeat for those who have spent their lives worshipping hard work and striving to outperform others. Social comparison is a big part of how people measure worldly success, but the research is clear that it strips us of life satisfaction.
第一步是要認識到不管你現(xiàn)在、以前或者希望未來有多么成功，你都不可能從職業(yè)生涯的享樂適應癥中獲得真正的幸福。幸福蘊藏在那些最平凡的事物中：比如，和愛的人一起散步或者交談，而不是將那一小時拿來工作。對于很多人來說，這是極其困難的。對于那些一生崇尚努力工作并致力于超越他人的人來說，這無異于承認失敗。人們常用社會攀比來衡量世俗成就，但是研究表明這會剝奪我們對生活的滿足感。
The second step is to make amends for any relationships you’ve compromised in the name of success. This is complicated, obviously. “Sorry about choosing tedious board meetings—which I don’t even remember now—over your ballet recitals” probably won’t get the job done. More effective is simply to start showing up. With relationships, actions speak louder than words, especially if your words have been fairly empty in the past.
第二步是要開始補償你以成功的名義而忽略的所有關系。當然這很復雜。僅僅一句“對不起，我選擇參加了無聊的董事會議---現(xiàn)在一點也記不住會議上的事情了---而不是你的芭蕾舞演奏會”恐怕不能完成任務。更有效的方式是直接開始出現(xiàn)在這種場合。在關系里，行動遠比語言有用，尤其是如果你以前經常不守承諾的話。
The last step is to find the right metrics of success. In business, people often say, “You are what you measure.” If you measure yourself only by the worldly rewards of money, power, and prestige, you’ll spend your life running on the hedonic treadmill and comparing yourself to others. I suggested better metrics in the inaugural “How to Build a Life” column, among them faith, family, and friendship. I also included work—but not work for the sake of outward achievement. Rather, it should be work that serves others and gives you a sense of personal meaning.
最后一步是找到正確衡量成功的方式。在商業(yè)領域里有這樣一句話，“你就是你所衡量的”。如果你衡量自己的方式僅是金錢、權力、名譽這些世俗的獎勵，你就會一生在享樂適應癥中奔跑，和別人比較。在新創(chuàng)的“如何建立生活”欄目里，我建議采用信念、家庭、友誼這些更好的衡量指標。我也把工作包含在內---但是工作不是為了外在的成就，而是為了服務他人，賦予個人價值而工作。
Success in and of itself is not a bad thing, any more than wine is a bad thing. Both can bring fun and sweetness to life. But both become tyrannical when they are a substitute for—instead of a complement to—the relationships and love that should be at the center of our lives.
和酒一樣，成功本身不是一件壞事。兩者都可以為生活帶來趣味和甜蜜。但是當它們作為關系和愛的代替品而不是補充時，就會變得專橫。關系和愛才應該是我們生活的重心。
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本文原載于 The Atlantic
