標(biāo)簽： 情感 |
my boy is a single tear clouded in my eye
1
i know a mother,who surely deserves the words
the tints of her life suddenly overturned to shadow when her boy was 7.
the boy was diagnosed as hemophiliac,a incurable disease one
contracting should be treated as glasses,in case hurt to bleed,then
non-stop bleeding,even life-threatering, by the big hospital of the
provincial capital.if the hemophiliac hemorrhages,only Factor 8 can be
used to stop it, however a medicine so rare and expensive that the
ordinary family can never afford. the doctor even alleged that the boy
cant live longer than 18year-old.
the sky sunny just a moment ago caved in suddenly. she was 29year-old
,used to so happily living,but the disease of her boy shaken her much
older overnight.
she told me that ,"i can never accept as true the miserable would fall
onto my boy and me,even till now.i was drowned into a nightmare,unable
to wake up. i felt something inside my system was crashed into
pieces.in origin,i was washed through with tears,afterwards,even tears
took pity on me, escaping faraway,no crying allowed me any more.
the tragedy continued.another heavily tough adversity beat her.her
husband stoled all money's worth in the family ,besides the deposit
book,and disappeared unsearchable,without any news till now.
he is sort of poltroon.he told me how pityful he was by inexplicable
disappearance.the way she refered to him is exceptionally calm as she
just talked about someone strange.
the darling was all her cherished,this moment,she loves him more and
more.it seems that she can hear
skelecton. she has dropped no more a single tear since her husband
disappeared that crying even turns out a humiliation for her. she told
no one about her boy's condition except her parents and her hasbands'.
the continued beats let her understand that no one has immense power to
change their lives. she would depend herself to prolong her daring's
life span and life,to protect his health to the greatest extend,to let
her boy own love and happiness ,happiness and dream.
she works in the factory like a man,in fact,even man would goof off
sometimes,but she never.i have seen her taking hold several steel tubes
that would make one tears fall down.her body ,not that strong,was
burdened to deep bent down.there were some hairs ,missed up,to sway
difficultly as her syncopated-cadence steps. her work clothes is as
dirty as other workers',but her face,no matter how carelessfully she
dirt it,always is much
soul stirring.she is 33 now.she said she had grown much older one
night,but later the aged evanesces,runs or walks close following the
cadence of time and
she has a brother who deeply loves her.she childishly begged her
brother to teach her drive car as they were little girl and boy in the
childhood
kindergartens.
she really drives well,but every time i meet her driving by,she armed
to the teeth always.she told me ,"i am being more and more timid.for
unfortune had visited us once,i always worry that it would come back
again.my baby cant live without me,that he needs a mum, healthy and
complete.
2.
if there is something that can be considered as fortune for her,maybe
it is her baby's condition is kind of minimal hemophilia.and the kind
of most serious would bleed inside without any hit,no sake.
when thinking of the misery of her boy, her heart would ache ,tightened
get renascence to continue beating,strengthful and powerful.
her boy is studying in the lodging department,high tuition fee to
2000yuan a term,which belongs to the most expensive in the province
capital.however,she is willing.it is because that the experimental
class of lodging department enrolls the least students,and her child
would be a little more safe here,which makes her worry a little less.
each new term begins,she would charge phones of her boy's all teachers
in advance,in case something special happens to her boy that they can
easily contact her in time.she had consulted
stanching solutions and taught her boy one by one. but she always feels
unable to manage it when bleeding,in a flurry.
she said,there were little people know about disease of this kind.i
wouldn't allow other children to treat my boy as one different so i
just told the teachers that my baby was exactly the same as the other
kids but just of some special physique,only hard to stanch.in true,he
grows fast,bright and lively,intelligent and lambkin,even wanna
protect his mum when i was wronged.and his teachers all approve him
smart and cute,good at study.the sorest time for him ,maybe when they
have the gym lessons,only can sideby watch his classmates playing
basketball,playing football and learning dancing.
his nose is so frail that it would bleed rudely when it is too dry a
day ,or he had something of strong acrimony,or hit by accident.in a
most horrible situation,it would be non-stop bleeding,when
cotton,gonna be drowned by blood soon,still bleeding straightly,and
nothing can do to help.when i saw a basin of clean water
turn
anyone else.no one know more about his nose and himself in danger than
himself. he is so little,but sometimes i feels him a real big man.
3.
she has a uncle who gotta begin an undertaking in shenzhen.it is said
that he has a little-scale pharmaceutial factory.
she said ,"it is so a long time since we contacted last time that my
memory about him becomes somewhat indistinct." but one day ,i
unexpectedly received the Factor 8 from him ,full four cases.it was the
life-saving medicine of my boy,and it was the special moment that
factor8 in short supply nationwide. i had no courage to call my uncle
directly for i was scared to cry out to unable to say a word.i didn't
know how my uncle got known my boy's disease and how much money
spent,how much setback he had taken
send messages to him and poured all my appreciation deeply in my heart.
uncle response the message,saying:"my girl.uncle can do nothing to help
u but only so little.my girl,you will be both ik." it was this message
that drived me cry for a long long time,not because of my boy.but i
understand,folks are ones loving u ,helping u away from
u turn to them or not. we surely gonna live well on,all my family know
it.
i got recognized the mother on line. i am the master of literal bcc in
the little city.
one day,a boy came to me with a composition,however titled "i am the
bloodsucker of my mum".i was scared,and read it with astonishment.
in fact,there were several times the boy had bleed too much and yet
hard to stanch,and cant wait for any Factor 8. so she begged the doctor
to transfuse her own blood into her boy.she knew they are both o-type
blood.each blood transfusion need 200ml and there were twice of so
short time-lag
die to save back her daring.she nearly begged the doctor to help her.
her boy was saved and she went back to work in weak. it was hot then
but she felt cold throughout,cold to gnash her teeth to hold on.the boy
smile,"i can't cry. u are tears in mum's eyes." my boy understood in a
instant,and said,i wouldnt cry either.no cry,no cry,no cry,but the
boy's tears still flooding down slightly. she embraced her boy,neither a
single tear,and comforted her boy,baby,u had cried for mum.and mum's
much better now.now dry your tears and take a cup of tea for
mum,ok.then,the boy stopped crying at once,he wrote down in his
compositon,"how
the next time,when she strethed out her arm to the doctor,the boy said
softly to doctor,"my aunt,could u please change a injection a little
thinner for my mum.you know,the thick one would hurt my mum."hearing
this,the doctor bursted into tears all of a sudden and changed for mum.
mum had been blood transfution to her boy four 4 times.and the boy
hasnt turned to her mum any more since
cases of Factor 8 them.it seems some miracle happens. the boy sometimes
little earier ,mum would escape to be tortured like that.
"i will invent a lot Factor 8 in future,for myself and for others who
need.and then mum wont lose a drop of blood any more.i wont be mum's
bloodsucker any more,"the boy wrote the ending.
i was clouded with full tears when reading.i hadnt altered a word of
the boy's composition,only changed its title into"i am the flower
irrigated by mum's blood"
i thought of some words by Senec,"why do you cry for part of your rainy
day? can't you see that there are lives throughout drowned in tears."
and she cherishes her boy as tears in her eyes,though living a tears-
drawing life still hates to weep....
附原文：
孩子是我眼里的淚水
孫君飛
我認(rèn)識(shí)一位母親，應(yīng)該說是一位悲壯的母親。
在她的孩子7歲時(shí)，她的人生徹底換了容顏。孩子被省城的大醫(yī)院確診為血友病患兒，這是一種不治之癥，需要像對(duì)待玻璃一樣保護(hù)他，一旦皮外出血就會(huì)血流不止，甚至危及生命；出血時(shí)必須注射第八因子用以止血，但這種藥物極及昂貴，而且產(chǎn)量極低，普通人家絕對(duì)使用不起。醫(yī)生甚至斷言，孩子活不過18歲。
好端端的天空就這樣塌陷了。她那時(shí)29歲，一直無憂無慮，但兒子的病讓她一夜之間蒼老了許多。
她跟我說，我一直不相信不幸會(huì)降臨到我和孩子的頭上，現(xiàn)在仍不相信。我做了一個(gè)醒不過來的噩夢(mèng)，覺得體內(nèi)有什么東西嘩啦掉了。剛開始，我整日以淚洗面，后來連淚水也同情我，躲得我遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)的，不讓我哭。
接著，又一個(gè)沉重的打擊降臨到她的身上。她的丈夫偷偷拿走家里所有值錢的東西，取走存折上所有的存款，神秘的在人間蒸發(fā)，至今杳無音信。
他是一個(gè)怯懦的人，他用莫名其妙的“失蹤”告訴我他是多么可憐。她提到他，異常平靜，就像在談?wù)撘粋€(gè)陌生人。
孩子曾經(jīng)是她的珍寶，現(xiàn)在她愛他愛得越來越深，仿佛在她的骨骼里都能夠聽到愛的歌唱和承諾。丈夫逃離家門后，她再也沒有流過一滴淚水。哭簡直變成了一種恥辱。除了父母，彼此的父母，她隱瞞了孩子的病情。接連的打擊讓她明白，誰也無法扭轉(zhuǎn)他們的人生，她要憑自己一個(gè)人的力量去延伸孩子的生命和人生，盡量維護(hù)他的健康，讓他跟其他的孩子一樣擁有愛和幸福、希望和夢(mèng)想。
她在廠里像一個(gè)男人那樣工作，其實(shí)男人也會(huì)偷懶，她卻不會(huì)。我曾經(jīng)見過她怎樣將幾根鋼管努力地扛到肩膀上，鋼管發(fā)出一種叫人想落淚的聲響，她并不健壯的身子深深地彎了下去，有一些頭發(fā)亂了，隨著她頓頓挫挫的步伐很別扭地晃動(dòng)了幾下。她的工作服跟其他工人的一樣臟，但她的臉不管怎樣不小心被弄臟，卻好像永遠(yuǎn)比工作服干凈，有一種驚心動(dòng)魄的美。她此時(shí)33歲，她說她曾經(jīng)一夜蒼老了很多，但后來那種蒼老消散了，跟著歲月一起奔跑或者散步，不超前也不落后。
家里有一個(gè)寵愛她的哥哥，她像小時(shí)候那樣纏著哥哥教她學(xué)開車，其實(shí)只是一輛三輪車。學(xué)會(huì)后，她開著它給商店和幼兒園配送牛奶和糖果。
她的黑車技挺好，不過我每次看見她開車路過，總是全副武裝。她說，我越來越膽子小了，不幸來過一次，擔(dān)心它還會(huì)再來。孩子離不開我，他需要一個(gè)健康、完整的媽媽。
2、
幸運(yùn)的是，她的孩子是血友病里最輕的一種，而最重的，無緣無故也會(huì)體內(nèi)出血，引起關(guān)節(jié)殘疾。想起孩子的不幸，她的心會(huì)疼痛得緊縮成一個(gè)小小的果核，又想到不幸中還有幸運(yùn)，所以才會(huì)繼續(xù)堅(jiān)強(qiáng)有力的跳動(dòng)著。
她的孩子在寄宿部上學(xué)，每學(xué)期的費(fèi)用高達(dá)2000元以上，屬于全城最高的學(xué)費(fèi)。但她心甘情愿，因?yàn)榧乃薏康膶?shí)驗(yàn)班招的學(xué)生最少，孩子放在安全隱患少的環(huán)境里，她才放心一些。每學(xué)期，她都提前給班主任和每一位任課教師充好話費(fèi)，讓他們遇到孩子出現(xiàn)特殊情況馬上和她聯(lián)系。她向醫(yī)生請(qǐng)教了不少止血方法，一一教給孩子，不過還是覺得孩子太小又孤單，害怕他出血時(shí)手忙腳亂，一個(gè)人扛不過來。
她說，這種病，沒有幾個(gè)人了解。我不愿其他人歧視孩子，跟老師只說我的孩子體質(zhì)特殊，除了難經(jīng)止血外，他跟其他孩子沒有什么兩樣。是的，他個(gè)子長得很快，聰明活潑，懂事聽話，在我委屈時(shí)還想保護(hù)我。教師說他真的聰明伶俐，學(xué)習(xí)成績非常好；他最難過的時(shí)候大概就是上體育課時(shí)，眼巴巴的看著同學(xué)們打籃球、踢足球、學(xué)舞蹈。
他的鼻子是太嬌弱，氣候干燥時(shí)，吃了刺激性強(qiáng)的食物或被無意間碰撞了，都會(huì)毫不客氣的流出鼻血。最嚇人的是，會(huì)一直汨汨的流，鼻孔里塞了藥棉，藥棉馬上被鮮血滲透，仍舊滴滴答答地直冒血?？吹揭慌枨逅畡x那間紅艷艷一片，我緊張得不敢呼吸，不敢看。他卻比所有人都鎮(zhèn)定，沒有人比他更了解自己的鼻子和危險(xiǎn)中的自己。他那么小，有時(shí)候我居然覺得他是大大的男子漢。
3、
她有一個(gè)舅舅，在深圳創(chuàng)業(yè)，據(jù)說擁有一個(gè)小型制藥廠。
她說，我和舅舅多年沒有聯(lián)系，心里有關(guān)他的記憶變得有些模糊。但有一天，他竟然收到他寄的第八因子，整整四盒。這是孩子的救命藥，當(dāng)時(shí)又正逢第八因子全國缺貨的時(shí)候。我不敢給舅舅打電話，我怕我哭得說不出話。不知道舅舅是怎么知道孩子的病情的，他花了多少錢，費(fèi)了多少力氣，才買到這些救命的藥。我給舅舅發(fā)了短信，把心里的話全說給他聽。舅舅回信說：“舅舅什么忙也幫不上，只能幫你這一點(diǎn)兒，閨女，你們會(huì)沒事的。”這條短信讓我哭了很長很長時(shí)間。不是為孩子哭。我明白，親人就是那種你不去求他，他也會(huì)愛你、讓你離開寒冷的人。我們確實(shí)會(huì)好好活下去，所有的親人都知道。
我和她是網(wǎng)上認(rèn)識(shí)的，我是小城文學(xué)論壇的版主。
一天，孩子拿來一篇作文讓我看，題目竟是《我是媽媽的“吸血鬼”》。我心里駭然，驚訝的看下去。
原來，過去有幾次，孩子失血過多，又難以止血，也等不來第八因子。她知道自己和孩子都是0型血，于是墾求醫(yī)生將她的血輸?shù)胶⒆芋w內(nèi)，醫(yī)生無奈的答應(yīng)了她。每次輸血都需要200毫升以上，其中有兩次輸血緊挨著，她的身體根本沒有恢復(fù)正常，她寧可自己死，也要救活孩子，幾乎是哀求醫(yī)生幫她采血、輸入。
孩子的生命保住了，她拖著虛弱的身體照常上班。那時(shí)天氣炎熱，但她感覺渾身冰涼，冷得咬著牙齒，腿也腫脹起來。孩子對(duì)她說，媽媽，你不要忍，哭出來吧。她笑著對(duì)孩子說，你是媽媽眼里的淚水，我不能哭。孩子一下子明白過來，說自己也不哭。不哭、不哭、不哭，孩子的眼淚還是無聲地洶涌而出。她抱過孩子，依然沒有眼淚，說孩子替兩個(gè)人哭了，媽媽好受我了，擦干淚，去給媽媽倒杯水，好嗎？孩子馬上不哭了，他在作文里寫道，媽媽需要我的時(shí)候，我怎么能繼續(xù)哭嗎？
下一次，當(dāng)她伸出手臂，請(qǐng)醫(yī)生采血時(shí)，孩子安靜地對(duì)醫(yī)生說，阿姨，給我媽媽換一個(gè)細(xì)一點(diǎn)兒的針吧，那么粗的針，媽媽會(huì)痛的!醫(yī)生一聽，眼淚一下子涌出來，不過還是微笑著給他的媽媽換了一個(gè)細(xì)一點(diǎn)的針頭。
媽媽已經(jīng)為孩子輸了四次知，當(dāng)她的舅舅將4盒第八因子寄來后，孩子再也沒有輸過她的血，奇跡仿佛出現(xiàn)了。孩子有些抱怨舅爺爺，他早些把藥寄過來就好了，媽媽便不用那樣受罪。我將來要發(fā)明許許多多第八因子，自己用，也讓別人用，媽媽的血再也不會(huì)搶劫一點(diǎn)一滴。孩子最后寫道，我再也不會(huì)成為媽媽的“吸血鬼”了。
我看得熱淚盈眶，擦干淚水后，孩子的作文我一個(gè)字也沒有改動(dòng)，僅僅把題目改成《我是媽媽用血澆灌的花朵》。
我又想起塞內(nèi)加的一句話：“何必為部分生活而哭泣，君不見全部人生均催人淚下？”而她因?yàn)楹⒆邮悄赣H眼里的淚水，在催人淚下的人生中依然不忍落淚。
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