Telling Him
Early
air max ltdmorning and mist is wrapped around the tops of the mountains.
retro jordan Down here it is lifting slowly like a reluctant child leaving her warm sleep. I walk through fields of shiny wet grass and pick out diamonds in the dew.
air jordansI have come early and parked the car further away than I needed to so that I have time to think and to find the right words.
Now
prada shoesthat I'm here I am not so sure and think about turning back and leaving.
jordan air shoesI could put it off for another time. Another day, another week -- what difference would it make?
I am out of the fields now and on the very edge of the village.
air max 90 And then just as I think about bolting like some scared rabbit he is there. He has seen me from the window and he's calling my name.
max ltdI run to him. I like being in his arms.
max 360I love his love. He is the father I never had, the father I longed for as a child.
When
retro jordanVincent first took me to meet him he opened his arms then. There was no formal handshake, none of the usual politeness or caution of strangers.
shox r4Later I asked Vincent if his dad was like that with all his girlfriends.
"I've never taken any of them home before."
air max 95he said. And although he laughed his dark eyes locked with mine and in that moment he told me that he loved me and that I was special.
nike max shoesI looked right back at him to let him know that I felt the same.
We went together just months later to tell his dad that we had plans to marry,
gucci shoesthat we wanted to be married in the village where Vincent and his brother had grown up. His dad brought them up on his own above a coffee shop.
jordan airHis sons left to live and work in the town but his dad stayed. He still has the shop and it is busy all year round.
nike maxIn the summer, tourists come and in the winter the locals come as much for his conversation as his good coffee.
As we go into the coffee shop now, that moment is with me again.
air retro jordanIt was a moment of pure joy, a floating moment. He brings me in now and sits me down in front of the fire and brings over two mugs
max 95 designer handbags full of steaming mocha coffee. He goes and gets some cream and swirls it on the top.
He pulls on his coat and we go out for a walk. Slowly the mist is leaving the mountains although the tops are still shrouded in swirls. We talk about this and that but I'm struggling. There's a tension in me that spills over into the conversation so it feels forced and unnatural.
All the way down here, I thought about what I would say and how I would say it but now words fail me. Silence falls between us. We are by the church now where Vincent and I had planned to marry. It is a tiny church just big enough for the "You're not to worry about what people think.
air maxIt's what's in your heart that's important. You cannot have your life ruled by what other people think. One year, two years -- who cares?
nike sneakersLove isn't something you order after five years of mourning. You love this man, he loves you. It's natural you should be together." He lets his breath out and I do the same.
"There's more," I say. He is looking away from me when I tell him that it is his older son that I love. Vincent's brother, Joseph. He turns to me slowly and his face is just a smile, a huge smile. He holds out his arms and I move close. The wind whispers around us, a gentle wind that feels like a blessing.
