我們的文化崇拜規(guī)劃,什么事情都必須事先規(guī)劃。我們的每一天,每一周,每一年,我們的全部生活。我們有日記,日程,目錄,對象,目標(biāo),策略,甚至是夢想。職業(yè)規(guī)劃是這些膜拜中最陰險(xiǎn)的一種,因?yàn)樗膭?lì)一種感覺——我們對未來事件的控制感。但我們都不擅長預(yù)測我們的未來。當(dāng)我們不能夠預(yù)測下周將要吃什么樣的三明治的時(shí)候,我們?nèi)绾文軌蝾A(yù)測在未來的20年我們將要做什么類型的工作?未來對你而言本身就是一個(gè)陌生人,這就是為什么一個(gè)18歲的年輕人很難選擇他職業(yè)的原因,其實(shí)對于一個(gè)中年人而言同樣如此,只是他需要承受更多譴責(zé)的目光,這是我們的文化。-psytopic.com
正如那些調(diào)查問卷中的問題:你如何看待未來的一年時(shí)間?這已經(jīng)引起了一種開始:未來如小游戲一樣開始,像建在沙灘上的信念一樣結(jié)束。你猜到了老板們最想聽的是什么,然后你回答了他們想要的。有時(shí)候,你為了能夠“升職”,這種對未來的事情詳細(xì)考慮就已經(jīng)變成了一種你必須玩的小游戲。
“根據(jù)自己的價(jià)值觀和特質(zhì),我們自己作決定”
事實(shí)上,人們通常都不知道他們想要什么,心理學(xué)也已經(jīng)證明了這一點(diǎn)。這就是為什么職業(yè)規(guī)劃或者至少那些計(jì)劃你下一步應(yīng)該怎么走的事情是讓人不愉快的。當(dāng)你18歲,別人問你將來你想干什么時(shí),這會讓你很不開心。這里也許有許多不同的觀點(diǎn),這些觀點(diǎn)中也許有著無數(shù)分歧,而且許多觀點(diǎn)是完全相反的。但所有可能性都具有同樣的誘惑力,那就是被那些無窮的螺旋型未來所環(huán)繞,對于那些中途輟學(xué)的跟隨父母足跡的孩子我們不足為奇。但是我們并不想相信那些嘗試或測試,不管是出于何種理由。我們想依據(jù)自己的價(jià)值觀和特性,完全自主的做決定。
中年危機(jī)
18歲時(shí)做決定很難,但在理論上已經(jīng)能夠很好的做決定的中年也同樣很困難。事實(shí)上,當(dāng)你用30多年廣闊的視野和樂觀的心態(tài)代替那些憤世嫉俗的觀點(diǎn)來對待工作,你已經(jīng)更加清楚一份工作的底線。這里不僅有我們的工作經(jīng)驗(yàn),還有我們工作中的朋友,所有的這些人都會讓我們感覺事業(yè)增添了光彩。
每個(gè)人都有自己的內(nèi)在交易價(jià)值。你喜歡例行公事嗎:無聊卻很安全?你喜歡旅游嗎:令人興奮卻不得不遠(yuǎn)離自己的愛人?你對掙更多的錢在意嗎:必須獲得更多的無聊/壓力/更少滿足感的工作?不管上述列舉事情的結(jié)果如何,不管這些事情周圍還有多少其它事情,讓你決定生活中應(yīng)該做什么事情很困難的原因是因?yàn)槟惚仨毴ヮA(yù)測未來。
這里有許多原因?yàn)槭裁次覀兛雌饋砗孟裆瞄L于預(yù)測我們的所想。如果我知道我在享受我現(xiàn)在所做的事情,那以后我就會很享受這個(gè)事情,不是嗎?掌握了這些,我花費(fèi)了數(shù)年的時(shí)間去打造一系列我的所愛――電影,書籍,連續(xù)??;以及我所不喜歡的事情――看牙醫(yī),嚴(yán)重的困窘和流感,特別所有這些不是同時(shí)發(fā)生的時(shí)候。如果我同時(shí)取得了這些喜歡的和不喜歡的,很容易就可以預(yù)測未來我的所想。但是,好像我們經(jīng)常被我們的未來所震驚。
“我們其實(shí)無法預(yù)測未來是什么使得我們幸?!?/strong>
錯(cuò)誤的想法(miswanting)[注釋]
我們對未來的想法犯了錯(cuò)誤的概念已經(jīng)被Gilbert和Wilson命名為“錯(cuò)誤想法”(miswanting)。他們的一系列的研究已經(jīng)發(fā)現(xiàn):我們預(yù)測在未來什么讓我們更快樂方面的能力很弱。我最喜歡的一個(gè)簡單實(shí)驗(yàn):兩組被試都參加這個(gè)實(shí)驗(yàn),他們會得到免費(fèi)的三明治,這對大學(xué)生來說絕對是一個(gè)好東西。
其中一組預(yù)先選擇這一周他們所需要的三明治;另一組每天選擇他們所需要的三明治。一個(gè)令人不可思議的事情發(fā)生了。那些每天選擇三明治的被試每天午飯時(shí)都選擇同樣的三明治,并且這些被試對他們的選擇做出了合理的高興程度。
可是,令人驚奇的是,那些預(yù)先設(shè)想下一周午餐的被試選擇卻是多變的。他們周一選擇火雞三明治,周二選擇金槍魚三明治,星期三選擇雞蛋三明治等。但是隨著下一周時(shí)間的到來,他們大多不喜歡他們以為自己應(yīng)該有的變化。事實(shí)上,他們與每天選擇的被試相比,顯得更不高興,并表現(xiàn)出了顯著差異。
“如果我們知道我們的未來,我們都是如此的不快樂?!?/strong>
預(yù)言失靈
這種“多樣性”與“同一性”只是人們在預(yù)測未來情緒狀態(tài)時(shí)表現(xiàn)出來的一種特殊偏差。這里有另一個(gè)積極心理學(xué)所做的“違反直覺的偏差”。主要是觀察:當(dāng)人們在生活中遭遇災(zāi)難性的壞事,或者幻想性的積極事件,人們?nèi)绾晤A(yù)測他們的感覺。比如:如果你中了彩票你感覺有多好?絕大部分人預(yù)測他們的生活將完全改變,并且自己活得更快樂。而研究的結(jié)論是什么呢?是的,當(dāng)人們剛剛發(fā)現(xiàn)自己中了彩票之后確實(shí)很高興,但6個(gè)月之后,高興的水平卻回到了人生的“基線”水平。
可笑的是,在這崇高的旅程中,不管是預(yù)測我們中彩票后的感受,還是預(yù)測我們中午吃什么三明治時(shí),如果我們知道我們的未來,我們都是如此的不快樂。所以,當(dāng)我們都不能夠預(yù)測我們下周將要吃什么樣的三明治的時(shí)候,我們?nèi)绾文軌蝾A(yù)測在未來的20年我們將要做什么類型的工作?
隨著年齡的變大,我們偶爾會變得更智慧。隨著我們的學(xué)習(xí),不管是未知的還是已知的,我們都不擅長預(yù)測我們的未來。我們開始認(rèn)識到這一點(diǎn)也不比我們曾經(jīng)的想法更科學(xué)。
“人們開始明白未來包含著如此少的可確定因素…”
陌生的未來
這就是說你的未來對你而言本身就是一個(gè)陌生人。所以,你知道,同樣的,那就是為什么一個(gè)18歲的年輕人很難選擇他的職業(yè)。但是對于一個(gè)中年人而言,當(dāng)他的所學(xué)很有限時(shí),所遭遇的就是嚴(yán)厲譴責(zé)的目光。
這好像是說明人越老越謹(jǐn)慎的另一個(gè)原因,但遠(yuǎn)不是這樣的。更準(zhǔn)確的說,謹(jǐn)慎并不是隨著年齡而增長的,而是受自知之明的暗示。人們開始明白未來包含許多難以察覺的不確定事件,甚至包括那些看起來已經(jīng)在我們控制之下的事情,就像我們選擇三明治一樣。
最強(qiáng)的猜測打敗最謹(jǐn)慎的計(jì)劃
對于“錯(cuò)誤想法”的爭論已經(jīng)應(yīng)用到我們生活中的任何領(lǐng)域,包括對我們未來進(jìn)行預(yù)測。職業(yè)規(guī)劃已經(jīng)變成一種痛苦的事情,因?yàn)檫@是如此重要的一個(gè)決定,而且我們要通過掌握的非常有限的有用信息來理解它。
最好的職業(yè)規(guī)劃的策略是這樣的:盡你的所能來猜測,試驗(yàn)它,當(dāng)你不喜歡它時(shí)請不要驚訝。但是,請無論如何不要在面試中提及這些。
英文原文閱讀:
Our culture worships planning. Everything must be planned inadvance. Our days, week, years, our entire lives. We have diaries,schedules, checklists, targets, goals, aims, strategies, visions even.Career planning is the most insidious of these cults precisely becauseit encourages a feeling of control over your reactions to futureevents. As that interview question goes: where do you see yourself infive years time? This invites the beginning of what starts as a littlegame and finishes as a belief built on sand. You guess what employerswant to hear, and then you give it to them. Sometimes this batting backand forth of imagined futures becomes a necessary little game you playin order to ‘get ahead’.
“We want to make a decision all of our own, based on our own values and preferences.”
In reality, people frequently don’t know what they want andpsychology has proved it. That’s why career planning, or at the veryleast just deciding what you’re going to do next, is so unpleasant.It’s no fun at 18 years old when people ask what you want to do. Thereseem to be so many different options, each with myriad branchingpossibilities, many of which lead in opposite directions, but allequally tempting. Surrounded by these endless spiralling futures, it isno wonder that many a school-leaver sticks with what they know andfollows in parental footsteps. But we don’t all want to trust the triedand tested, whether for good reasons or bad. We want to make a decisionall of our own, based on our own values and preferences.
Midlife crisis
If it’s hard at 18, it’s even harder in midlife when people aretheoretically better equipped to make their choice. In reality by your30s wide-eyed optimism has normally been replaced by a more cynicaloutlook on jobs and the workplace. Now it’s more clear what thedownsides of certain jobs are. There’s not only our own experiences ofwork but we also have friends at work, all of whom colour ourperception of their careers.
Everyone has their own internal trade-offs. How much routine do youlike: boring but safe)? How much do you like travel: exciting butyou’ll be away from loved ones? How much do you care about earning moremoney: and taking a more boring/stressful/less fulfilling job? Whateverthe outcome of all these swings and roundabouts along with many more,the reason that deciding what to do with your life is so difficult isthat it involves predicting the future.
There’s many reasons why it seems we should be good at predictionwhat we want. If I know that I’m enjoying what I’m doing now, then Ishould enjoy it in the future shouldn’t I? On top of this I’ve gotyears of experience building up a set of things I like - cinema, books,sitcoms - and things I don’t like - trips to the dentist, severeembarrassment and flu, especially not all at the same time. If I’ve gotthis huge bank of likes and dislikes it should be easy to predict mywants in the future. And yet, it seems we are often surprised by whatthe future throws at us.
Miswanting
“We are poor at predicting what will make us happy in the future.”
The idea of making mistakes about what we might want in the future hasbeen termed ‘miswanting’ by Gilbert and Wilson (2000). They point to arange of studies finding we are poor at predicting what will make ushappy in the future. My favourite is a simple experiment in which twogroups of participants get free sandwiches if they participate in theexperiment - a doozie for any undergraduate.
One group has to choose which sandwiches they want for an entireweek in advance. The other group gets to choose which they want eachday. A fascinating thing happens. People who choose their favouritesandwich each day at lunchtime also often choose the same sandwich.This group turns out to be reasonably happy with its choice.
Amazingly, though, people choosing in advance assume that whatthey’ll want for lunch next week is a variety. And so they choose aturkey sandwich Monday, tuna on Tuesday, egg on Wednesday and so on. Itturn out that when next week rolls around they generally don’t like thevariety they thought they would. In fact they are significantly lesshappy with their choices than the group who chose their sandwiches onthe day.
Prediction failure
This variety versus sameness is only one particular bias that peopledisplay in making predictions about their future emotional states.There is another counter-intuitive bias emerging from the work beingdone in positive psychology. This looks at how people predict they willfeel after both catastrophically bad, and, conversely, fantasticallypositive occurrences in their life. For example, how good would youfeel if you won the lottery? Most people predict their lives will becompletely changed and they’ll be much happier. What does the researchfind? Yes, people are measurably happier after they’ve just won, butsix months down the line they’re back to their individual ‘baseline’level of happiness.
So, in the journey from the sublime - predicting how we’ll feelabout winning the lottery - to the ridiculous - predicting whichsandwiches we’ll want for lunch - we are incredibly bad at knowing ourfuture selves. And if we can’t even decide what type of sandwich wemight like next week, how can we possibly decide what type of job we’dlike to be doing in twenty years?
With age occasionally comes wisdom. Over time we learn, whetherimplicitly or explicitly, that we are not that good at predicting thefuture. At the very least we begin to recognise it is a much lessprecise science than we once thought.
A stranger future
This means your future self is probably a stranger to you. And, onsome level, you know it. That’s why it might be hard for an 18 year oldto choose their career, but it’s a damn sight harder for someone inmidlife when limitations have been learnt.
“People begin to understand that the future holds vanishingly few certainties…”
This might seem like just another way of saying that people get morecautious as they get older, but it is more than that. It’s actuallysaying that it’s not caution that’s increasing with age, but implicitself-knowledge. People begin to understand that the future holdsvanishingly few certainties, even for those things that would seem tobe under our most direct control, like our sandwich preferences.
Best guess beats careful planning
The argument about miswanting applies to any area of our lives whichinvolves making a prediction about what we might like in the future.Career planning becomes painful precisely because it’s such animportant decision and we come to understand that we have only verylimited useful information.
The best strategy for career planning is this: make your best guess,try it out and don’t be surprised if you don’t like it. But forheaven’s sake don’t mention this in your interviews.
Psytopic成員Roger翻譯/原文鏈接
感謝Psytopic網(wǎng)友油茶研究會提供素材
感謝Psytopic網(wǎng)友“l(fā)uopu”、“Aeghilnz”、“Guest”、”dxxesong”指正
Psytopic文章采用創(chuàng)作共用協(xié)議,轉(zhuǎn)載請注明源出處和本頁文章地址。