It's the most compelling, preoccupying question we measure ourselves by every day, and it has very little to do with money. I'm talking about "worth" as in self-worth and "value," as in the degree to which we feel valued by others, and valuable in the world. Nothing more powerfully influences our behavior and our effectiveness at work.
“我的價(jià)值何在？” 這是我們每天自省時(shí)最關(guān)注和感興趣的問題，這個(gè)問題無關(guān)金錢。它指的是自我認(rèn)同的價(jià)值，對(duì)別人的價(jià)值以及對(duì)整個(gè)世界的價(jià)值。沒有什么像它一樣影響我們的行為和工作效率了。
Because organizations pay so little attention to how people are feeling in the workplace, and because we ourselves are so often unaware of what we're feeling, we often fail to recognize the effect that our emotions have on us, and on others.
因?yàn)橐粋€(gè)組織很少關(guān)注其成員在工作場所的感覺，也因?yàn)槲覀兂３：雎宰约旱母杏X，所以我們經(jīng)常無法感知情緒對(duì)我們及他人的影響。
We all experience challenges to our value at work every day — demanding and critical bosses, difficult clients and customers, tough assignments, tight deadlines, failure to achieve our goals, or the feeling that we're being excluded, singled out, overlooked, or not fully appreciated. Think of each of these as a trigger: an event, a behavior, or a circumstance that prompts negative emotions — and more specifically, the experience of fight or flight.
在工作中，我們每天都會(huì)面臨自我價(jià)值的挑戰(zhàn)--嚴(yán)苛的老板、難相處的客戶、艱難的任務(wù)、緊迫的期限、未能實(shí)現(xiàn)目標(biāo)，或者感覺到別人排斥、孤立、忽視，或者未受到充分賞識(shí)。這些事件，行為或情形都會(huì)引發(fā)負(fù)面情緒，更明確的說，一種“戰(zhàn)還是逃”的經(jīng)歷。
We don't have to worry anymore about being attacked by real lions and tigers, but we're still vulnerable to threats to our sense of self worth. When we respond in fight or flight, we're less able to think clearly, less flexible, less resilient, and more impulsive and reactive.
我們現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)不用擔(dān)心被獅子或老虎襲擊了，但自尊受挫時(shí)我們?nèi)匀缓艽嗳?。?dāng)我們處于“戰(zhàn)還是逃”的狀態(tài)時(shí)，我們就無法冷靜思考，不能靈活處事，而變得沖動(dòng)和過激。
It's a reverse value proposition: the more we feel threatened, the more energy we spend defending, restoring, and asserting our value, and the less energy we have available to create value.
這是一個(gè)關(guān)于價(jià)值的逆命題：我們?cè)接X得受到威脅，就會(huì)花更多的精力來防御、恢復(fù)和確認(rèn)我們的價(jià)值，這樣就剩下越少的精力來創(chuàng)造價(jià)值。
Difficult as they are to calculate, the costs to engagement, productivity, and performance are immense. There may be no more alienating and energy-draining experience at work than feeling diminished and devalued.
(在這種情況下，)人員參與度，生產(chǎn)率和工作效率的損失會(huì)非常大，你很難計(jì)算整個(gè)代價(jià)。在工作中沒有什么像被貶低和忽略一樣讓人感到疏遠(yuǎn)和心力交瘁了。
When we worked at a large, well-known hospital, for example, the nurses told us that the single biggest challenge to their satisfaction and effectiveness was the feeling of not being valued by the doctors. Turnover was a huge problem, even though the nurses loved their work with patients.
例如，當(dāng)我們?cè)谝粋€(gè)著名的大醫(yī)院工作時(shí)，護(hù)士會(huì)告訴我們最影響他們情緒和工作效率的就是不被醫(yī)生重視。失誤是一個(gè)很大的問題，即使護(hù)士們喜歡他們照顧病人的工作。
When we asked the doctors to describe their biggest challenge, they were unanimous. It was the feeling of not being appreciated by the hospital's administrators. The origin of the corrosive culture was clear. The president of the hospital, a former surgeon, was well known for his explosive temper and his abusive behavior with both doctors and nurses.
而當(dāng)我們問醫(yī)生什么是最大的挑戰(zhàn)時(shí)，他們一致認(rèn)為是醫(yī)院管理者對(duì)他們的不欣賞。這種破壞性文化的來源是很清楚的。該醫(yī)院院長，曾經(jīng)是一個(gè)外科醫(yī)生，聞名于他的火爆脾氣，以及對(duì)醫(yī)生和護(hù)士的謾罵。
Our core emotional need is to feel valued. Some years ago, the researcher James Gilligan was called into a prison to try to help out with an inmate who kept assaulting guards, even after he was placed in solitary confinement 24 hours a day.
我們核心的情感需求是被肯定。幾年前，一個(gè)監(jiān)獄請(qǐng)James Gilligan研究員去幫助一個(gè)不斷襲擊警衛(wèi)的囚犯，即使他一天二十四小時(shí)都被關(guān)禁閉。
"What do you want so badly," Gilligan asked the inmate, "that you are willing to give up everything else in order to get it?"
“什么是你夢寐以求的？”，Gilligan問那個(gè)囚犯，“以至于你愿意為它放棄一切？”
"Pride, dignity, and self esteem," the inmate replied, instantly. "And I'm willing to kill any motherf----- in that cell block to get it. If you ain't got pride, you ain't got nothing."
“驕傲、尊嚴(yán)和自尊，”囚犯立刻回答道，“我他媽的愿為此殺掉牢房里的任何人。如果你失去了尊嚴(yán)，你就失去了任何東西。”
Plainly, that's extreme, but as Daniel Goleman has written. "Threats to our standing in the eyes of others are ... almost as powerful as those to our very survival."
很顯然，這個(gè)囚犯是個(gè)極端的例子，但正如Daniel Goleman所寫的，“對(duì)我們?cè)谒搜壑械匚坏耐{和對(duì)生存的威脅一樣強(qiáng)大。”
Researchers have found that the highest rises in cortisol levels — the most extreme fight or flight response — are prompted by "threats to one's social self, or threat to one's social acceptance, esteem, and status."
研究人員發(fā)現(xiàn)皮質(zhì)醇水平的急速提升，即最極度的“戰(zhàn)還是逃”狀態(tài)，是由“自我認(rèn)同，社會(huì)認(rèn)同，自尊和地位受到的威脅”引起的。
Just think about the difference between hearing a compliment and a criticism. Which are you more inclined to believe? What do you dwell on longer?
想想聽到贊美和批評(píng)的區(qū)別吧，你更傾向于相信哪個(gè)？哪個(gè)會(huì)讓你念念不忘？
The researcher John Gottman has found that among married couples, it takes at least five positive comments to offset one negative one.
John Gottman研究員發(fā)現(xiàn)，在結(jié)婚人群中，至少五次正面的評(píng)價(jià)才能抵消一個(gè)負(fù)面的評(píng)價(jià)。
The first move when you've been triggered is the simplest: take a deep breath and exhale slowly. So long as your body is flooded with stress hormones, you literally can't think straight, so it's best not to react at all.
當(dāng)你的負(fù)面情緒被激發(fā)時(shí)，第一步是最簡單的：做一次深呼吸。只要你的體內(nèi)充滿了應(yīng)激激素，你就不可能清楚地思考了。所以最好的做法就是不做反應(yīng)。
At The Energy Project, we call this the Golden Rule of Triggers: Whatever you feel compelled to do, don't.
在“能量工程”中，有一條被激怒后黃金法則：不管你多想做什么，都不要去做。
As soon as you're calm enough, ask yourself, "How am I feeling my value is at risk here?" You'll make a fascinating discovery. It's not what the other person said that triggered you; it's how you interpreted it.
當(dāng)你冷靜下來后，問一下自己：“在這種情況下，我如何看待自己的價(jià)值？”，你將會(huì)有奇妙的發(fā)現(xiàn)。并不是別人所說的觸發(fā)了你的負(fù)面情緒，而是你的解讀方式觸發(fā)了它。
The less you can make it about your value, the more control you'll have over how you respond.
越少將其歸因于自己的價(jià)值，你將越容易去控制如何回應(yīng)。
When leaders themselves are insecure, the most obvious symptoms are self-aggrandizement, high need for control, poor listening skills and impatience, all of which only make those who work for them feel devalued.
當(dāng)領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者本身就沒有安全感時(shí)，最明顯的癥狀就是自我膨脹，加強(qiáng)控制，不會(huì)傾聽別人，沒有耐心，所有這些都使為之工作的人感到低落。
The more genuinely you hold the value of someone you manage — even at moments when you must share a concern — the more focus and positive energy that person will bring to the task at hand.
你越是由衷地發(fā)現(xiàn)手下人的價(jià)值，他們對(duì)手頭的工作就越是專注和主動(dòng)，即使當(dāng)你必須提出你的擔(dān)心時(shí)。
Turn your awareness on yourself. It's a powerful first step.
開始認(rèn)識(shí)你自己，這是強(qiáng)有力的第一步。
Want to see how well you're managing the energy of those you lead? Take The Energy Audit for Leaders.
想學(xué)習(xí)如何管理你手下的情緒？參加管理者資源管理課程吧！
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