忙碌的生活中,我們時(shí)常會忽略一些微小的瞬間,這些瞬間或許只是一次短暫的交流,但卻可能帶來出乎意料的情感共鳴。我們常常被過分追求宏大改變的想法所限制,覺得只有在改變世界的尺度上才能有所作為。微小的、看似不重要的交流反而被我們忽略了。叔本華說:任何時(shí)刻,我們都無法確定我們周圍的人,有沒有人正考慮結(jié)束自己的生命。因此,我們?nèi)魏我粋€(gè)人都有可能成為別人絕望生活中的最后一道防線。從與陌生人的微笑、鄰居間的問候,到與路過的人短暫的對話,一個(gè)簡單的問候、一次小小的同情表達(dá),甚至是一句幽默的話語,都可能改變他人的情緒。讓我們停下腳步,用一顆溫暖的心去對待生活中那些小小的瞬間,因?yàn)樾⌒〉氖虑橐苍S正是真正的改變和意義的源泉。Taking time to have small chats about nothing in particular with people we don’t know and are unlikely ever to meet again can – from some perspectives – seem like the height of absurdity. 讓我們抽出時(shí)間與素不相識且不太可能再次見面的人閑聊,即使是聊一些毫無關(guān)聯(lián)的話題,從某些角度看,似乎是非常荒謬的行為。Maybe we’re in a coffee shop and someone is preparing us a drink. Perhaps we’ve crossed a neighbour in the hallway while getting our post. Or we’re on a train, waiting for the doors to open. Why would we bother to hold up our day for a few moments, given how many things we already need to do and how many good friends we already have that we haven’t seen in far too long?也許我們在咖啡店,服務(wù)員正在為我們準(zhǔn)備飲品?;蛘呶覀?nèi)ト〖r(shí),剛好在走廊遇到了鄰居。又或者我們坐在火車上,等待著車門打開。鑒于我們已經(jīng)有很多事情需要做,也有很多好朋友已經(jīng)很久沒見了,為什么還要花費(fèi)幾分鐘去跟陌生人閑聊呢?We may also have a more high-minded defence for our silence: we aspire to be profound people and there is no way that we can get anywhere meaningful with a near or complete stranger in a compressed amount of time. We shun the smaller chats because – in the back of our minds – we tell ourselves that we are already sufficiently deeply committed to the long and consequential ones.我們可能還有更高尚的理由來解釋我們的沉默:我們渴望成為深刻的人,然而在短暫的時(shí)間里,與陌生人交流幾乎不可能有什么意義可言。我們回避瑣碎的聊天,是因?yàn)樵谖覀冃牡祝覀兏嬖V自己,我們已經(jīng)足夠深入地投入在長期且重要的交流中了。But this is to miss the point – and the opportunities – presented by minor social exchanges. They stand, in relation to lengthy friendships, rather as haikus do next to 1,000-page novels; there are things a tiny poem can do that a comprehensive narrative will miss. There are single sentences that can mark us as much as entire volumes. There are pictures that can stick with us in a way that a three-hour film won’t. We can be disproportionately and yet powerfully touched by so-called minor things. 但是我們忽視了次要社交交流所帶來的意義和機(jī)會。閑聊與長時(shí)間的友誼相比,就如同俳句與千頁小說相對;短小的詩詞能夠彌補(bǔ)長篇累牘所忽視的東西。有些單句能夠像整卷的著作一樣影響我們。有些圖片能夠鐫刻于心,而三小時(shí)的電影卻做不到。我們可能會因?yàn)椴黄鹧鄣默嵤率艿讲怀杀壤珡?qiáng)烈的觸動(dòng)。Small sympathetic chats matter above all because few of us are ever very far from sadness and despondency. There are so many reasons to dislike ourselves, to be paranoid about what other people think and to regret mistakes we’ve made. When we are in a febrile or fragile mood, a short kindly exchange can be all that is needed to start turn around a deeply dark day. An enormous amount of sympathy and fellow-feeling can be compressed in the most miniscule dialogue. 'They make them like that to torture us, don’t they?’ we might say to a parent struggling to close the zip on a child’s jacket in a sudden downpour, thereby sending a modest sign that we know how difficult things can be – and that we have in some ways been there – or somewhere like there – ourselves.這些小而富有同情心的聊天之所以至關(guān)重要,因?yàn)槲覀儙缀鯖]有人能逃得過悲傷和沮喪。我們有很多原因不喜歡自己,對別人的看法過度擔(dān)憂,對自己犯過的錯(cuò)誤感到后悔。當(dāng)我們情緒激動(dòng)或脆弱時(shí),一次簡短友好的交流就足以扭轉(zhuǎn)至暗的一天。最微小的對話也可以蘊(yùn)含巨大的同情和情感共鳴。比如,我們可以對在突如其來的傾盆大雨中正奮力給孩子的外套拉上拉鏈的父母說:“服裝廠家是刻意折磨我們嗎?” 從而傳達(dá)出我們理解有時(shí)事情可能會多么困難,而且在某種程度上,我們曾經(jīng)處在那種艱難情境下,或類似的情境下。Or we might – on our way to a station – exchange one or two sympathetic words with a taxi driver about their elderly mother who, we learn, has just gone into a care home after having a fall. The chat won’t change anything in an already tricky situation, but the humanity on display might just. The philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer remarked that we can never know for sure who around us may, at any particular moment, be thinking of ending their own life. The thought usefully puts into relief what might be at stake in any exchange; we may – at points and without any obvious warning – be the last thing between someone and their decision to despair.或許在前往車站的途中,我們會與一名出租車司機(jī)交流一兩句同情的話語,我們得知他他們年邁的母親,剛剛因?yàn)樗さ苟胱’燄B(yǎng)院。這番簡短交談并不能改變已經(jīng)棘手的局面,但所展現(xiàn)的人性或許能夠起到作用。哲學(xué)家阿瑟·叔本華曾經(jīng)提到,任何時(shí)刻,我們都無法確定我們周圍的人,有沒有人正考慮結(jié)束自己的生命。這句話擲地有聲地凸顯了任何交流可能面臨的風(fēng)險(xiǎn);在某些時(shí)刻,毫無明顯警告的情況下,我們可能是某人和他們絕望決定之間的最后一道防線。A charge often made against small chats is that we can surely only be 'pretending’ to be friendly. Yet this is to miss out how much, and how deeply, our hearts may go out to people whose lives we merely brush against. We can imagine our way into pains whose details we will never know. We can – if it doesn’t sound too paradoxical – love a stranger, and, even more oddly, for only a minute or two.有人常常經(jīng)常指責(zé)說,閑聊肯定只是表面上“假裝”友好。然而,這種指責(zé)就忽視了,我們的心靈可能會對我們僅僅與之擦肩而過的人傾注多少、多么深刻的情感。我們可以設(shè)身處地地感受到那些我們永遠(yuǎn)不會了解細(xì)節(jié)的痛苦。我們可以,如果這聽起來不太矛盾的話,愛上一個(gè)陌生人,甚至更奇怪的是,只需要一兩分鐘。We are – in all this – so often held back by unhelpfully grand ideas of what it means to change the world. We imagine the requirements for improvement on such a large scale that – along the way – we end up grievously neglecting what it is actually in our powers to achieve right now, today, the next time we go out. We suffer from an upside-down view of where significance can lie. We are assembled out of small things – and may live or die by their presence or absence. We have in our hands a very potent weapon already: the power to say a warm, gentle, sympathetic hello.我們常常在很多情況下,被不太有益的關(guān)于改變世界的宏大想法所束縛。我們常常把問題設(shè)想得非常宏大復(fù)雜,無從下手,以至于在前進(jìn)的過程中,我們嚴(yán)重忽視了我們實(shí)際上有能力在當(dāng)下、在今天、在我們下次外出時(shí)能夠做到的事情。顛倒了什么事情是重要的把我們害慘了。我們是由微小的事物構(gòu)成的,可能會因微小事物的存在或缺失而生存或消亡。我們手中已經(jīng)有一把非常有用的武器:傳遞一次溫暖、柔和、同情的問候。譯制:良哥
source: The School of Life
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