如果你聽(tīng)到一群魅力四射且單身的女人在茶余飯后秘密私語(yǔ)，那么此時(shí)的話(huà)題通常都是男人。
And in most cases, it will eventually turn into a RANT session about how hard it is to find good men to date...
而且多數(shù)情況下，談?wù)摰阶詈笈藗冞€會(huì)呈現(xiàn)痛罵環(huán)節(jié)，抱怨如今找一個(gè)好男人約會(huì)是多么困難......
Which will lead to a FULL-ON RAG SESSION about men in general...
一般而言是什么導(dǎo)致這種全情斥責(zé)的狀況呢......
...And wind up with a detailed list of all the traits guys have that are ANNOYING AS HELL.
......還有以一張列有所有那些讓人生厭的男士特質(zhì)詳單作為結(jié)束。
The reality is that single women have an entire laundry list of traits, qualities, and characteristics that they HATE in single guys.
事實(shí)是這樣的，這個(gè)單身女人呀，有一張全詳目清單，上面列著討厭男士的特征，品質(zhì)和性格特點(diǎn)。
Did you know this?
關(guān)于這個(gè)，你知道嗎？
I didn't think so.
反正，我不知道。
Well, the truth is that up until a few years ago, I didn't know this either.
嗯，一直到幾年前我才明白，之前其實(shí)我也不懂的。
So take heart in the idea that you're about to learn something that most men on this planet will DIE not knowing.
因此對(duì)你即將要了解到的知識(shí)上個(gè)心，因?yàn)檫@些東西大部分男人到死也搞不清楚的。
My hope is that what I'm about to share with you will change how you interact with women FOREVER... and help you meet and date more of the kinds of women you're interested in.
我希望隨后與你分享的將會(huì)永遠(yuǎn)改變你與女士互動(dòng)的方式......幫助你遇見(jiàn)那些你感興趣的不同類(lèi)型女士，并與她們展開(kāi)約會(huì)。
Onward.
那么我們開(kāi)始~~~
FRIENDSHIPS AND ROMANCE
友誼&戀愛(ài)關(guān)系
For women, friendships and romantic relationships are two separate things. They are NOT the same.
對(duì)于女人來(lái)說(shuō)，友誼和戀愛(ài)關(guān)系絕對(duì)是兩個(gè)獨(dú)立的事兒，肯定不一樣。
One can lead to another, but it's RARE when it happens.
一個(gè)關(guān)系可以演變成另一種關(guān)系，但是發(fā)生的可能也很小。
Remember that.
所以，記住：
One CAN lead to another, but it's RARE.
一個(gè)關(guān)系可以演變成另一種，但是很難。
"Romantic" relationships are very different from "friend" relationships.
“戀愛(ài)”關(guān)系與友誼截然不同。
While most men would sleep with most of their female "friends" if the woman "came on" to them, most women would NOT sleep with most men that they consider "just friends".
大多數(shù)男人會(huì)與絕大多數(shù)女性“朋友”發(fā)生關(guān)系，如果是女人提出要求的話(huà)，然而女人就絕對(duì)不會(huì)和那些她們只當(dāng)是“普通朋友”的男人發(fā)生關(guān)系。
But why is this?
但是為什么會(huì)這樣呢？
How do women differentiate between "just friends" and "I'll be intimate with you"?
女人是怎么樣辨別什么人只是“普通朋友”，而那些又是“想有肌膚之親的人”呢？
And why is it so hard to become "more than friends" with a woman you've been "just friends" with for a long time?
為什么和女人成為“比朋友多一點(diǎn)”這樣的關(guān)系，都要在“普通朋友”這一階段耗那么久？
The answer to this riddle is very interesting to me.
這個(gè)謎題的答案讓我非常感興趣。
I believe that the answer comes down to understanding HOW women "know" when they want to "be intimate" with a man... and, even MORE importantly, understanding how women "know" when they DON'T want to "be intimate" with a man...
我相信答案最終會(huì)歸結(jié)為理解女人如何“知道”何時(shí)想要與一個(gè)男人發(fā)生肌膚之親......而且，更重要的一點(diǎn)是，了解女人如何“知道”何時(shí)又不想與一個(gè)男人發(fā)生肌膚之親......
The thing that tells a woman whether the guy she's with is "friend" material or "lover" material is how she FEELS.
告訴女人這個(gè)男人到底只是“朋友”關(guān)系還是“情人”關(guān)系的就是她的感覺(jué)。
It's a combination of EMOTIONAL feelings and PHYSICAL feelings.
這是一種情緒感覺(jué)和生理感覺(jué)的綜合感知。
It is NOT logic.
而且很不合邏輯。
She might USE logic to "rationalize" her decision... or she might USE logic to SOUND like she has a good reason for either "being with" or "not being with" a particular guy.
她可能會(huì)使用邏輯讓自己的決定“合理化”......或者她可能會(huì)用邏輯讓與特定的那個(gè)男人“在”或“不在”一起，又有一個(gè)漂亮的理由。
But don't let that distract you.
但是，別讓這些分心。
Logic isn't important AT ALL in this context.
在這種情境下，邏輯根本不重要。
So let me say this another way.
所以，讓我這么跟你說(shuō)吧~~
A woman FEELS something emotionally and/or physically, then she uses those FEELINGS as the basis for her "decisions" and actions with a particular guy.
女人的一些情感或生理上的感覺(jué)會(huì)成為她們決定與男人交往決定的基礎(chǔ)。
If she feels that "Ewwww Yuck!" feeling, then her "logical" conclusion will probably not be that she wants to date the guy in question.
如果她有“呃，真煩”這樣的感覺(jué)，那么所謂“邏輯”就會(huì)得出這個(gè)男人不是她想要約會(huì)的對(duì)象這一結(jié)論。
If she feels that "It's Gettin' Hot In Here" feeling, then her "logical" conclusion will probably be that this guy is interesting and attractive, and a good "choice" to date. At this point she'll take ACTION on her feelings and thoughts...
如果她感覺(jué)到“好熱”，那么所謂“邏輯”就會(huì)得出這個(gè)男人很有趣很有吸引力這樣的結(jié)論，那么隨后一個(gè)好的約會(huì)即將展開(kāi)。在此點(diǎn)上，她會(huì)基于感覺(jué)和思維采取行動(dòng)。
It goes like this:
如下所示：
FEEL--->THINK--->ACT
感覺(jué)--->思考--->行動(dòng)
First the FEELING, then the THOUGHT... and THEN the action.
感覺(jué)為先，隨后思考......最后行動(dòng)。
Now, with this in mind, let me ask you an important question:
現(xiàn)在，有了這些了解，讓我問(wèn)你一個(gè)重要的問(wèn)題：
How do most guys behave around women that they're "romantically" interested in?
在讓大多數(shù)男人有想發(fā)展戀愛(ài)關(guān)系的女人周?chē)麄內(nèi)绾伪憩F(xiàn)呢？
And another:
還有另一個(gè)問(wèn)題：
What do they do to get the woman that's the object of their desires to be with them?
他們?yōu)榱讼胍玫竭@個(gè)女人會(huì)做些什么呢？
Take a few minutes to think about this. Make a list if you have paper and pen handy.
花幾分鐘時(shí)間思考一下這個(gè)問(wèn)題。如果手邊上有紙筆的話(huà)可以列個(gè)表。
I'm serious. I'll wait.
我很認(rèn)真喔，我等著你仔細(xì)想清楚。
Come back when you're finished.
完成之后回到我們的討論。
Now take a look at your list.
一起來(lái)看看你列出的表格。
I'll bet that almost every single thing on your list was something "external".
我打賭，你表上列出的每一個(gè)單獨(dú)條目都是一些“外部”事件。
In other words, your list probably contains things like "Take her to dinner" and "Give her compliments" and "Buy her flowers" and "Call her often".
換句話(huà)說(shuō)，你的表格可能包括例如“帶她去吃飯”“贊美她”“給她買(mǎi)花”“經(jīng)常打電話(huà)給她”之類(lèi)的事情。
These are all things that demonstrate that he's INTERESTED.
這些事情表明了男人是感興趣的。
They are NOT things that trigger those emotional and physical feelings inside of a woman that tell her that THIS IS THE GUY.
它們其實(shí)并不是能夠引發(fā)女人認(rèn)定“就是這個(gè)男人”情緒感知和生理感覺(jué)的事情。
In other words, men try to use "props" to LET A WOMAN KNOW HE'S INTERESTED...
換句話(huà)說(shuō)，男人嘗試用一些“道具”讓女人知道“他們對(duì)你感興趣”......
...HOPING that when the woman sees these displays she'll be interested in him.
......希望當(dāng)女人看到這些表示會(huì)也對(duì)那個(gè)那人感興趣。
Almost NONE of the things men do to court women make women FEEL ANYTHING even remotely similar to "Attraction" and "Arousal".
男人做的這些示愛(ài)事件中，幾乎沒(méi)有一件會(huì)讓女人感覺(jué)到哪怕是一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)類(lèi)似于“有吸引力”和“喚醒”的感覺(jué)。
Of course, you know this.
當(dāng)然了，你自己也知道這點(diǎn)。
You've probably done this stuff about a bazillion times. I have, too. I know what it's like to try OVER AND OVER to let a particular woman know that I'm interested... only to have her NOT RESPOND in a "romantic" way.
你可能無(wú)數(shù)次地做過(guò)這些事情了，我也是。我知道，我們一遍遍地重復(fù)這些只是為了讓那個(gè)女人知道，我們對(duì)她感興趣......但得到的卻是她不想與你“譜寫(xiě)羅曼史”的回應(yīng)。
The PROBLEM with this kind of thing is that it makes TWO HUGE MISTAKES at once.
造成這個(gè)問(wèn)題是原因是：我們同時(shí)犯了兩個(gè)大錯(cuò)誤。
First, it's just the plain-old wrong way to go. Telling or showing a woman that you "like her" has no effect on how she feels about YOU.
第一，這是一個(gè)普遍錯(cuò)誤的方式。告訴或者為女人展現(xiàn)“你喜歡她”的行為根本不會(huì)改變女人對(duì)你的感覺(jué)。
In the moment it sure seems to make sense... "If I show her how I feel, she'll return the feelings".
在這當(dāng)兒上，這是講的通的......“如果我向她說(shuō)明我的感覺(jué)，她也會(huì)告訴我她的感受?！?b class="label bg2" jquery1321426010015="503">
Duh.
這不是廢話(huà)嘛！
Like I said, it seems like the right thing to do in the moment (when your inner little girl has a big fat crush). But it's not... it will have NO effect on her feelings for you.
就像我說(shuō)的，看起來(lái)那個(gè)時(shí)候做著完全正確的事情（當(dāng)你內(nèi)心中的小女孩兒也同樣對(duì)你著迷時(shí)）。但是如果不是這樣的話(huà)......這么做就不會(huì)影響女人對(duì)你的感覺(jué)。
And second, it communicates clearly that YOU DON'T GET IT. It tips a woman off INSTANTLY that you're not hip to what's going... and it kills your chances with her.
第二，明確告訴你：你沒(méi)戲！這樣的說(shuō)明立馬斬?cái)嗔伺c女人交流的機(jī)會(huì)。
Say what?
說(shuō)什么呢？
You mean that doing nice things for women, and trying to show how you feel can actually HURT your chances with a woman?
你是說(shuō)我為女人做了這么多好事，然后告訴她我的感覺(jué)，事實(shí)上居然會(huì)斬?cái)嗯c其交流的機(jī)會(huì)？
Yea, it can.
是啊，這樣的確會(huì)。
Look, if you've been dating a woman exclusively for six months, and her birthday comes... it's OK to buy her a gift and tell her that you like spending time with her.
聽(tīng)著，如果你專(zhuān)心地與這個(gè)女人約會(huì)6個(gè)月，臨近她的生日時(shí)候......給她買(mǎi)份禮物，然后告訴她很樂(lè)意與她一起共度時(shí)光，這樣做都是合情合理的。
YOU'RE ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP.
因?yàn)槟阋呀?jīng)處于這種戀愛(ài)關(guān)系中了。
But if you've known a woman for six DAYS and you try this kind of thing, you're going to shoot yourself in the foot.
但是如果你只和一個(gè)女人認(rèn)識(shí)了6天，你就嘗試做上面的事情，無(wú)外乎自作孽。
Women are EXPERTS at recognizing men who DON'T GET IT. And if you DON'T get it, PLUS you're trying to compensate for the fact that you don't get it with gifts and compliments, then you're REALLY screwed (or not screwed, as the case may be).
女人是辨認(rèn)男人是否沒(méi)戲的專(zhuān)家。如果你沒(méi)戲，再加上你試圖為自己沒(méi)戲做出挽回而送禮物，說(shuō)贊美的言辭，這時(shí)候你真的完蛋了（看情形而定，或者也不一定會(huì)完蛋）。
Remember what I'm about to tell you.
記住我即將要跟你講的話(huà)。
Burn it into your mind.
并深深地烙進(jìn)你的思想。
Write it on a sticky-note and put it on your computer monitor...
將其寫(xiě)在便簽上，然后貼在電腦顯示器前方：
SINGLE, ATTRACTIVE WOMEN WATCH MEN TRY TO WIN THEM OVER ALL DAY LONG. THEY KNOW WHEN A GUY DOESN'T "GET IT"... AND THEY'RE ANNOYED WHEN A GUY WHO DOESN'T "GET IT" JUST KEEPS TRYING AND TRYING AND TRYING.
單身女人目睹男人一整天取悅她芳心。她們心里知道這個(gè)男人沒(méi)戲的的時(shí)候......沒(méi)戲的的男人還在不停地嘗試，嘗試，再?lài)L試，讓女人著實(shí)惱火。
Keep in mind that single, attractive women watch guys do this stuff 24/7. They shake their pretty heads and say "He doesn't get it... He doesn't get it... He doesn't get it" over and over and over.
牢記，這些單身漂亮女人時(shí)時(shí)刻刻都在觀察著男人做這些事情。并且她們搖動(dòng)著漂亮的頭顱一遍又一遍地說(shuō)：“他沒(méi)戲......他沒(méi)戲......他也沒(méi)戲。”
The point is that if you DON'T GET IT, then nothing you do is going to work for you.
問(wèn)題在于，你，沒(méi)，戲！之后你怎么做都沒(méi)用的！
The problem is bigger than you can imagine, and you're going to need to take a totally different road to get where you're going...
問(wèn)題比你想象的要大得多，你需要走上一條與之前完全不同的路......
WHAT ATTRACTIVE WOMEN HATE MOST ABOUT SINGLE GUYS...
那么漂亮女人究竟最憎惡?jiǎn)紊砟腥耸裁茨兀?/strong>
Let's return to where we started.
讓我們重新回到這一最開(kāi)始的問(wèn)題。
There are a few particular things that REALLY annoy single, attractive women.
有一些特有的事情真的會(huì)把單身有魅力的女人惹毛。
One of the reasons that these things annoy women is because they're DEAL KILLERS.
這些事情會(huì)惹女人生厭的原因之一是，男人扮演了“交易殺手”的角色。
A woman can like everything about you, but if you do these things (or even ONE of these things), it can DESTROY your chances of success with a particular woman.
一個(gè)女人可以喜歡你的一切，但是如果你做了這些事情（或者其中一件）的話(huà)，那么你與她的成功牽手的機(jī)會(huì)將毀于一旦。
Here are a few of the BIG things that single women hate:
這里列出一些單身女人最討厭的大事兒：
1) Giving Up Your Status In Exchange For Her Attention And Approval
1）為了獲得她的注意和同意而降低你的地位
If I had to describe the one single thing that both annoys women and DESTROYS a guy's chances, it would be this.
如果讓我講到一件既會(huì)惹惱女人又會(huì)毀了男人機(jī)會(huì)的事情，那莫過(guò)于這個(gè)了。
It has taken me a long time to see this particular pattern, but it's EVERYWHERE.
我理解這個(gè)模式費(fèi)了好長(zhǎng)時(shí)間，但是真的是無(wú)處不在。
Men, in effect, say "Hi, I want your approval and attention. I'm willing to let YOU be the one who's in control... and let YOU call the shots... and do anything to please YOU... if you'll give me your attention and approval". But the problem is that women DON'T WANT you to give up your status and "manliness".
男人呢，實(shí)際上，說(shuō)著：“嗨，我想要得到你的同意還有關(guān)心。我想要讓你成為我能控制的人......你說(shuō)了算......我會(huì)做一切來(lái)取悅你......如果你給予我關(guān)注和同意?！钡?，問(wèn)題就在于女人根本就不愿意看見(jiàn)男人放棄自己的地位和“男子氣概”。
Women aren't ATTRACTED to men who act weak and tentative.
女人不會(huì)被舉止軟弱躊躇的男人吸引。
Women secretly HATE IT when a guy does something to demonstrate that he'll give away his power in return for approval.
女人暗自討厭那人為了換取她們同意而有放棄自己權(quán)威的表現(xiàn)。
THEY HATE IT!
她們真的很討厭這樣子！
I could literally write an entire book on this one single concept.
關(guān)于這一點(diǎn)我?guī)缀蹩梢詫?xiě)一整本書(shū)來(lái)闡述。
Take a few minutes to think this one over, and maybe write down the ways that you make this mistake with women.
花幾分鐘來(lái)再想一遍這一點(diǎn)，也可以寫(xiě)下來(lái)你和女人交流時(shí)犯下如此的錯(cuò)誤。
More importantly, think about how you're going to STOP DOING IT IMMEDIATELY.
更重要的是，思考一下你將如何立即停止這樣做。
2) Being Needy, Clingy, And Insecure
2）表現(xiàn)的貧苦，黏人和不牢靠
When one person "clings" to another person "psychologically", the person who is being "clinged to" RESENTS and REJECTS the needy, clingy emotional parasite...
當(dāng)一個(gè)人在“心理上粘著”另一個(gè)人時(shí)，那個(gè)被粘的人對(duì)于貧困，黏人的情緒寄生蟲(chóng)十分憎惡......
This is WUSS behavior at its worst.
這是懦夫最糟糕的舉動(dòng)。
If a guy is on the phone with a girl he just met, and she says "Hey, I have to go", he might say "Aw, well... um... OK. Um, will you call me when you get home?".
如果一個(gè)男人和一個(gè)他剛認(rèn)識(shí)的女孩通電話(huà)，對(duì)方說(shuō)：“嘿，我得走了。"男人可能會(huì)說(shuō)：“哦，嗯，好的。那么，你到家以后你會(huì)打電話(huà)給我嗎？”
Or let's say a guy and a girl are out on their first date, and they're walking around in a large department store.
或者讓我假定一個(gè)小伙子和女孩子在進(jìn)行他們的第一次約會(huì)，他們?cè)诖笮桶儇浬痰暧问帯?b class="label bg2" jquery1321426010015="541">
Most guys will follow the woman everywhere, and not leave her side for a minute.
大多數(shù)男人會(huì)隨處跟隨女人，并且寸步不離。
If she wanders away, he'll come find her IMMEDIATELY.
如果女人不小心走散，他會(huì)立馬去把她找回來(lái)。
He'll stay physically close to her, as if he's afraid she'll leave without him.
他一直在身體上保持靠近，就像他害怕女人會(huì)離開(kāi)一般。
And an even worse example is a guy who is so emotionally insecure that he actually ASKS a woman to tell him that he's nice, fun, interesting, etc.
更糟糕的一個(gè)例子是小伙子流露出極度的情緒不安全感，他會(huì)問(wèn)女孩兒，還讓她告訴他自己很好，很有趣，等等。
"Do you think I'm interesting?"
“你覺(jué)得我有意思嗎？”
"Do you think we could ever have a relationship?"
“你覺(jué)得我們?cè)谝黄鹩锌赡軉?？?b class="label bg2" jquery1321426010015="547">
"Am I your type?"
“我是你喜歡的那款嗎？”
Women HATE this stuff. It makes them shiver with the heebie-jeebies. It makes them want to RUN AWAY.
女人討厭這樣。這樣會(huì)讓她們緊張戰(zhàn)栗，讓她們想要逃離。
3) Not Leading - And Even Worse, Trying To Get Her To Lead
3）不主導(dǎo)-更糟糕的是讓女人主導(dǎo)
Women have WUSS-DAR.
女人有懦夫感應(yīng)。
One of the things that triggers a woman's WUSS-DAR is a man who FOLLOWS.
一件能引發(fā)女人的懦夫感應(yīng)的事情就是男人總跟隨附和。
The REAL problem is that most women won't try to LEAD naturally.
真正的問(wèn)題就在于女人很自然地不想主導(dǎo)一些事情。
So you've got a situation where a man is trying to FOLLOW a woman who isn't LEADING.
所以你便可以勾畫(huà)出一個(gè)男人跟隨著一個(gè)不愿領(lǐng)導(dǎo)的女人身后的場(chǎng)景。
He's looking for little cues so he knows where to go and what to do... but he isn't getting them.
他正在尋找一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)線(xiàn)索來(lái)提示自己去向何方，該做什么......但是他并沒(méi)有找到。
So what does he do?
所以他都做了什么呢？
He ASKS for them!
他于是開(kāi)始問(wèn)女人們！
He says "So, I was thinking of maybe taking you to Olive Garden for dinner... how does that sound?".
他開(kāi)口：“因此，我考慮要帶你去橄欖園西餐廳吃飯......你覺(jué)得怎么樣？”
Everything about the way he asks says to the woman "I'm trying to figure out what you want me to do... please help me know how you want me to act, where you want me to take you, and what you want me to say".
所有男人詢(xún)問(wèn)的方式就像是在對(duì)女人說(shuō)：“我正在判斷你想要我做什么......拜托幫幫我，讓我了解你想要我怎么做，你想讓我?guī)闳ツ膬?，你想要我?duì)你說(shuō)什么？”
This is ATTRACTION DEATH!
這是呈現(xiàn)吸引力的死穴！
men who don't lead, and even worse, try to get a woman to lead, ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF SINGLE WOMEN.
這是男人不主導(dǎo)，但是更加糟糕的是那些想要女人來(lái)主導(dǎo)的人，足以讓單身女人抓狂。
They HATE IT!
她們真的很討厭這樣子！
4) Using Insecure, Approval-Seeking, Low-Status Posture, Gestures, Voice Tone, And Body Language
4）使用不牢靠的，尋求同意和低身段的姿態(tài)，手勢(shì)，聲調(diào)和身勢(shì)語(yǔ)
There's a term that single, attractive, in-demand women use to describe men who use weak, approval-seeking posture, gestures, comments, and mannerisms...
這一條用于炙手可熱的魅力單身女性在描述那些個(gè)常使用軟弱的，尋求同意的姿態(tài)，手勢(shì)，評(píng)論和矯揉造作的男人們。
The term is "NICE".
此條看上去挺“美好”吧。
"He's nice... but... there's no chemistry."
“他挺好的......但.......我們不來(lái)電?！?b class="label bg2" jquery1321426010015="566">
This is one of those areas that's not easy to talk about.
這是一個(gè)不太容易說(shuō)明白的地方。
Since SO DAMN MANY GUYS do this stuff, it's almost impossible to explain.
因?yàn)樘嗳硕歼@么做，所以根本沒(méi)可能解釋清楚。
It's like trying to tell a fish that they're not going to get anywhere in life if they stay wet.
就像是試著跟魚(yú)講如果你一直這么潮濕，今后將一事無(wú)成。
The fish doesn't even KNOW it's wet in the first place.
但魚(yú)根本就不知道它們一開(kāi)始就是周身潮濕的呀。
But let me try.
但是，讓我來(lái)試著解釋這一條。
This is important.
非常重要。
Go spend a day observing couples.
花一天時(shí)間觀察一對(duì)兒。
Go places where couples that have just met spend time together.
去那些個(gè)能夠看到情侶們一起花時(shí)間度過(guò)的地方。
Bars, clubs, coffee shops, whatever.
比如酒吧，俱樂(lè)部，咖啡店，等等。
Now watch the GUYS.
之后，注意觀察他們。
Watch how they lean towards the women.
看看他們是如何偏向女同胞的。
Watch how they raise their eyebrows in exaggerated response to women's comments.
看看他們是怎樣夸張地?fù)P起眉毛回應(yīng)著女人的評(píng)論的。
Watch how they slump over, let their shoulders fall forward, and smile fake-ly at whatever the women say.
看看他們?nèi)绾挝?，雙肩前倒，然后可以立馬在女人說(shuō)任何話(huà)的時(shí)候掛上假笑。
If you're close enough, listen to how men ask questions and make comments with a voice tone that says "I'm insecure and I'm trying to be extra nice to compensate for it".
如果你離得足夠近的話(huà)，聽(tīng)聽(tīng)男人們是用何種聲調(diào)和做出評(píng)價(jià)的，通常是這樣：“我不確定，我想表現(xiàn)的特別好來(lái)做彌補(bǔ)?！?b class="label bg2" jquery1321426010015="580">
You'll see it EVERYWHERE.
這種狀況隨處可見(jiàn)。
In fact, you'll see it so much that you'll probably write me back to tell me that I'm the one who's crazy, and that since it happens so much, it must be "the right way".
事實(shí)上，你會(huì)看見(jiàn)許多這樣的情形，你可能還會(huì)回寫(xiě)給我，告訴我說(shuō)我是個(gè)瘋子，而且正因?yàn)榻?jīng)常發(fā)生，這也許才是“正確的做法”。
Well, it's not.
唉，其實(shí)不是的。
If there's one thing that triggers an attractive single woman's WUSS-DAR, it's a man's posture, gestures, eye contact, voice tone, etc.
能引發(fā)魅力單身女人的懦夫感知事件就是男人的姿勢(shì)，手勢(shì)，目光接觸，聲調(diào)，等等。
It all happens in an INSTANT.
這樣的事情總是瞬間發(fā)生。
Women read this stuff and interpret it as instantly and accurately as you read and interpret the cover of Playboy.
女人立馬精確讀并理解這個(gè)觀點(diǎn)，就像你解讀《花花公子》雜志封面一般。
NO ANALYSIS NECESSARY.
不需要做分析。
I'd say that probably 90% of all men alive today INSTANTLY disqualify themselves with women because of this problem.
可以說(shuō)大概90%的男人是因?yàn)檫@個(gè)問(wèn)題被女人立馬取消了與其交往的資格。
Their voice tone, gestures, posture, etc. TELEGRAPH the message that they're a WUSS.
男人們的聲調(diào)，手勢(shì)，姿勢(shì)，等等。傳遞的信息就是他們是個(gè)懦夫。
They do a thousand weird little things to let a woman know that they're uncomfortable and "not being themselves".
他們會(huì)做很多個(gè)奇奇怪怪的小事情，就是想要讓女人們知道他們一點(diǎn)兒也不舒服，他們都不能“做自己”。
And you guessed it...
然后讓你猜猜看......
Single women HATE IT!
單身女人真的很討厭這樣子！
5) Not Understanding That She's A Woman And You're A Man
5）根本不理解她是個(gè)女人而你是個(gè)男人
I'm about to get philosophical on your ass, so be cool.
我將要給你灌輸一點(diǎn)哲學(xué)觀點(diǎn)。
When it comes down to it, most men don't understand women.
當(dāng)其歸根到底時(shí)，還是男人不了解女人。
But the REAL kicker is that most men don't understand MEN, either!
但是真正的發(fā)牢騷者會(huì)講：大多數(shù)人也都不了解男人！
Most guys don't know what it's like to get in touch with their MALE NATURE.
很多人甚至不知道怎樣才是男性特質(zhì)。
Combine these two issues, and you get a guy who behaves in ways that DO NOT trigger ATTRACTION in women.
把這兩個(gè)問(wèn)題合二為一來(lái)看，一個(gè)男人的行為舉止不會(huì)吸引女人。
Women have a "nature". A female nature.
女人有“特質(zhì)”。女性特質(zhì)。
Men also have a "nature". You guessed it, it's a MALE nature.
男人也有“特質(zhì)”。對(duì)，就是男性特質(zhì)。
Women are coy. They like to play hard to get. They like to enjoy the chase. They love anticipation. They love to "let a guy catch them"...
女人內(nèi)斂。她們想讓自己變得沒(méi)那么容易獲得。她們享受被追逐，當(dāng)然還有為此而進(jìn)行的競(jìng)爭(zhēng)。她們更喜歡“讓男人追”......
Men are competitive. Men are dominant. Men like to play rough games, win things, and rule their territory.
男人呢，求勝心切，統(tǒng)治欲強(qiáng)。他們喜歡玩彪悍的游戲，去贏，然后統(tǒng)治他們的疆域。
Well guess what?
猜猜看吧？
Most men don't BEHAVE like men when they're in the presence of a woman that they "like".
在喜歡的女人面前，大多數(shù)男人的舉止會(huì)不像個(gè)男人。
And since most men don't understand female human nature, they don't demonstrate that they "get it" when they're with women that they "like".
而也因?yàn)槎鄶?shù)男人不了解女人的人本性，他們和喜歡的女人在一起時(shí)他控制不了“贏取芳心”的狀態(tài)。
Women like men. Men like women. There are POWERFUL causes at play here.
女人愛(ài)男人，男人愛(ài)女人。這便是這場(chǎng)游戲的強(qiáng)大動(dòng)因。
When you're around a woman you like, don't act like a GIRLY-MAN. It's not sexy, and it's not attractive...
當(dāng)你圍繞著你心愛(ài)的女人時(shí)，不要表現(xiàn)得像個(gè)娘娘腔。不性感，也不沒(méi)有吸引力。
And single women HATE IT!
單身女人真的不喜歡這樣子！
6) Not Being Interesting To Be Around
6）在女人周?chē)鷷r(shí)根本提不起興趣
Underneath most behavior that I see most guys acting out is a "core belief" that goes like this:
下面我觀察到大多數(shù)男人外露舉止的“核心信仰”是這樣的：
"I don't believe that an attractive woman would want to be around me just because she enjoys my presence... so I make up for it by saying and doing certain things that I hope she'll enjoy... and if she enjoys those other things enough, then maybe she'll want to spend more time with me."
“我就不相信一個(gè)有魅力的女人只因?yàn)槲业拇嬖诙鴺?lè)于環(huán)繞在我周?chē)?.....所以我就說(shuō)一些做一些事情補(bǔ)償，讓她覺(jué)得很享受......如果她很享受我為她做的這些事的話(huà)，之后可能她就會(huì)想和我多呆一些時(shí)間。”
Heavy, man.
真笨吶你！
Well guess what? Most attractive single women KNOW that if a guy isn't interesting to be around, they she's eventually going to go CRAZY being around him.
嗯，猜猜看會(huì)發(fā)生什么？大多數(shù)有魅力的單身女人知道，如果在一個(gè)男人身邊會(huì)很無(wú)趣，那么她呆在這個(gè)男人身邊終究是會(huì)發(fā)瘋。
In other words, no amount of material gifts, compliments, dinners, and other "displays" will EVER compensate for a lack of BEING INTERESTING.
換句話(huà)說(shuō)，再多的禮物，贊美，晚餐還有其他的“表現(xiàn)”，都抵不過(guò)“感興趣”一說(shuō)。
Here's a profound thought:
下面是一個(gè)思考：
I and several other guys I know have many women who call us often... just because they enjoy being around us.
我和一些認(rèn)識(shí)的人，經(jīng)常接到許多女人的電話(huà)......只是因?yàn)槟切┡讼矚g圍繞在我們周?chē)?b class="label bg2" jquery1321426010015="616">
These women would be happy just to be in the same room with us... and enjoy our company.
這些女人和我們呆在一起很開(kāi)心......而且也極度享受我們的陪伴。
And yes, these women CALL US.
沒(méi)錯(cuò)，而且還是這些女人打給我們的。
Often.
常常如此。
Material gifts, food, flowers, and other "displays" have ZERO lasting value to a woman when it comes to how she FEELS about you...
但涉及到女人對(duì)你的感覺(jué)如何時(shí)，禮物，好吃的，鮮花和其他“表現(xiàn)”都是零持久度。
An attractive single woman wants a guy who LIGHTS HER UP. She wants to FEEL GOOD.
一個(gè)魅力單身女人需要男人讓她興奮，她想要感覺(jué)良好。
She wants mystery... she wants to laugh... she wants a challenge... she wants sexual tension...
她想要神秘感......她想要?dú)g笑......她想要挑戰(zhàn)......她想要性張力......
If you're using compliments, gifts, food, and other "displays" to get a woman's attention... you need to ask yourself a tough question:
如果你使用贊美，禮物，好吃的還有其他“表現(xiàn)”來(lái)討女人歡心......你必須問(wèn)自己一個(gè)嚴(yán)肅的問(wèn)題：
Is it because you don't believe that a woman would want to be around you just to be around you?
是因?yàn)槟悴幌嘈乓粋€(gè)女人和你在一起僅僅是因?yàn)樗牒湍阍谝黄穑?b class="label bg2" jquery1321426010015="624">
Because if you don't know how to be INTERESTING to a woman, then no amount of compensation is going to fix the problem.
因?yàn)槿绻悴磺宄鯓幼屌烁信d趣，那么再多的補(bǔ)償也修復(fù)不了這個(gè)難題。
If you're boring, predictable, and uninteresting, then you're never going to have women calling YOU to hang out.
如果你這個(gè)人很無(wú)趣，能一眼看透，你壓根就別惦記著女人會(huì)打電話(huà)邀你出去了。
Oh, and women HATE IT.
嗯，女人真的討厭這樣的。
7) Not Understanding Attraction
7）不理解吸引力
This is a BIGGIE.
這是個(gè)大問(wèn)題。
You hear me talking about it all the time, right?
關(guān)于這個(gè)你聽(tīng)我說(shuō)過(guò)很多次了，對(duì)吧？
Maybe now that you've read this newsletter you'll have a better context to understand what I'm about to tell you...
可能你現(xiàn)在讀到的文章會(huì)幫助你更好地理解我將要講到的東西.....
If you "get it" with women, it's SUPER INTERESTING and ATTRACTIVE to them.
如果你“懂”女人，那么她們就會(huì)覺(jué)得你非常有趣，魅力無(wú)限。
Women can INSTANTLY FEEL IT when they're with a guy who "gets it".
女人會(huì)立刻感覺(jué)到男人是否“懂”她們。
Women know very quickly if they're talking to a guy who understands himself and women... and who enjoys creating and building sexual tension.
女人對(duì)于與她們談話(huà)的男人是否了解自己還有女人，是不是樂(lè)于創(chuàng)造和搭建性張力，能夠迅速感知。
Women know if a guy speaks the SECRET LANGUAGE of "Sexual Communication".
女人也知道男人是否在傳遞性暗示密語(yǔ)。
If he doesn't, then she stops all communication on that level.
如果他沒(méi)有，女人會(huì)停止在這一層面上的交流。
If he does, then it continues.
如果他有，那么交流繼續(xù)。
ATTRACTION Isn't A Choice.
吸引力不是道選擇題。
Attraction is an emotional and physical RESPONSE... and you can't "convince" a woman to feel it with logic, gifts, and NICENESS.
吸引力是情感和生理的回應(yīng)......你不能用邏輯，禮物和美好的事物“說(shuō)服”一個(gè)女人。
Attraction is the result of a woman meeting a man who understands how attraction works... and who knows what to do in each specific situation to progress to the next level.
吸引力是女人遇到那個(gè)懂的如何讓魅力奏效的男人時(shí)的必然產(chǎn)物......而且，誰(shuí)又知道在每一個(gè)特定情境中要做些什么，才會(huì)進(jìn)入到下一個(gè)階段呢，
The PROBLEM with ATTRACTION, and with success with women in general is that the things you need to DO to be successful are NOT OBVIOUS.
關(guān)于吸引力以及成功與女人溝通的難題總體上就是取得成功所必須要做的事兒似乎沒(méi)有明顯的輪廓。
They're "counter intuitive", in many cases.
很多情況下，她們“反直覺(jué)”。
In other words, they're the OPPOSITE of what you'd THINK would make sense.
換言之，和你想的相反沒(méi)準(zhǔn)就講得通。
You have to do things like CREATE TENSION... stop doing something that she likes... give her time to miss you... etc.
你做一些比如制造張力的事情......停下來(lái)吧，別做她喜歡的事情了......給她留點(diǎn)想念你的時(shí)間......
And if you don't understand ATTRACTION, a woman is going to KNOW IT.
如果你不了解吸引力這一回事兒，女人也能感覺(jué)到。
And guess what?
會(huì)發(fā)生什么呢？
Single women HATE IT when a man doesn't understand ATTRACTION and how to communicate on this "other level".
單身女人真的很討厭男人不理解吸引力，而且還對(duì)在另一層面上如何交流毫無(wú)頭緒的狀況。
Now that I've shared the mistakes, you need the next piece of the puzzle. You need to get an education on how attraction works for women... and the RIGHT things to do up front to give her those emotional/physical feelings inside.
現(xiàn)在我來(lái)共享一下這個(gè)錯(cuò)誤，你沒(méi)準(zhǔn)兒需要下一個(gè)謎題。你必須要明白吸引力如何在女人那兒發(fā)揮效能的......和在她們面前最好做些什么，才能讓她們情感和生理上都感覺(jué)的到。
Right now you're probably feeling that excited "Ah Ha!" feeling.
現(xiàn)在，你是不是有一種豁然開(kāi)朗的感覺(jué)。
That's because you understand something at a different level... you've used your mind to understand something complex... and you feel good about bettering yourself.
那是因?yàn)槟阍诓煌膶蛹?jí)面上明白了一些事情......你在動(dòng)腦子理解一些復(fù)雜的東西......對(duì)于完善自己你感覺(jué)很良好。
Well this is just the TIP of the iceberg.
這些其實(shí)都只是冰山一角。
As educational as this has been, this is only the beginning.
這些也僅僅只是個(gè)開(kāi)始。
If you're starting to realize how important it is to get this area of your life handled, then I recommend you make a commitment and take your education to a WORLD CLASS level.
如果你開(kāi)始意識(shí)到掌控自己生活這一區(qū)域是有多么重要時(shí)，我建議你許下承諾，讓自己達(dá)到一流教育水準(zhǔn)。
And what's the best way to do that?
那么達(dá)到這個(gè)目標(biāo)最好的途徑是什么呢？
Well, I've spent the last several years of my life figuring out exactly what does and doesn't work with women.
我花了最近幾年時(shí)間里正確理解，什么對(duì)女人奏效，什么又絕對(duì)不管用。
I figured this stuff out for MYSELF... and then I took what I've learned and put it all together to help others learn as well.
我為自己理解這些......然后我把自己領(lǐng)會(huì)到的進(jìn)行整合，也來(lái)惠及他人。
My Double Your Dating eBook represents THOUSANDS of hours of research, testing, getting to know guys who were successful with women, and generally organizing every level of this knowledge into an easy-to-understand system that ANY guy can use to increase his success with women and dating.
我的電子書(shū)《約會(huì)倍增術(shù)》是眾多研究，調(diào)查的代表，書(shū)中你可以了解到他們?nèi)绾纬晒锶∨朔夹?，通常組織每一階段的知識(shí)成為任何人能夠看懂的版本，提高約會(huì)成功幾率。
And I'll tell you something...
我還將告訴你一些......
It works.
確實(shí)奏效。
This eBook is the most advanced and effective program of it's kind available anywhere at ANY price.
這個(gè)電子書(shū)是一個(gè)非常高級(jí)有效的程序，在任何地方任何價(jià)格都可以獲得。
And I have an offer that you're not likely to find repeated anywhere else...
僅此一家，絕無(wú)復(fù)制。
I'll send it to you at MY RISK.
我個(gè)人承擔(dān)郵寄風(fēng)險(xiǎn)。
You can try it out for a full 7 days, and if you don't see MASSIVE results, just let me know... and pay nothing.
7天免費(fèi)期，如果沒(méi)有成效，告訴我，全款退貨。
That's right, you can try it FREE for 7 days.
沒(méi)錯(cuò)，7天免費(fèi)期。
On top of all that, I'd like to invite you to sign up for my free, 3-times-weekly dating tips newsletter.
另外，我誠(chéng)邀您注冊(cè)我的一周三次的約會(huì)貼士通訊。
There's no obligation, and you can easily remove yourself anytime. And believe me, I hate spam as much as you do. You don't have to worry about me ever sharing your email address with anyone.
會(huì)員沒(méi)有任何義務(wù)，可隨時(shí)退出。相信我，我和你們一樣也很討厭垃圾郵件，我們承諾絕不會(huì)泄露您的郵箱地址。
And I'll talk to you again soon.
再會(huì)。
Your Friend,
你的朋友，
David DeAngelo
David DeAngelo
聯(lián)系客服
