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今天，我們繼續(xù)通過(guò)拆解（原創(chuàng)）范文的方式理解雅思大作文的行文思路，達(dá)到理想的 Coherence and Cohesion – How well your thoughts and the pieces of information are connected.

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Do you think the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh its disadvantages for the environment?

雖然我們今天講解的主題是大作文的CC ，但是關(guān)于審題還是需要多一句嘴。

* 審題時(shí)注意：對(duì)于個(gè)人的好處是否大于對(duì)于環(huán)境的壞處，而對(duì)于個(gè)人的壞處不在題目問(wèn)題意義之內(nèi)

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Worldwide, car ownership is increasing, and the increase in some countries is tremendous. [建立CC的方式之一：詞性變化：前半句的動(dòng)詞分詞increasing到后半句變成對(duì)應(yīng)的名詞increase。] However, the benefits for individuals of the trend can hardly offset the harm to the environment. [好的CC也要求大家在行文時(shí)不出現(xiàn)/極少出現(xiàn)廢話，那么，我們就可以在introduction的第二句立刻直接表明立場(chǎng)。]

Car owners benefit from driving. [進(jìn)入主體部分的第一句話，很短，但是意思明確。好的CC要求話語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)潔達(dá)意。] Immediately after a person purchases a car, traveling is no longer subject to the timetables or routes of buses or trains, or the availability of taxis. [在第一句表明要談?wù)揵enefits之后，迅速直接說(shuō)明benefit是什么。好的CC都是信息進(jìn)展很快，沒(méi)有贅述的。] Instead, [準(zhǔn)確恰當(dāng)?shù)倪壿嬤B接詞。這是好的CC的必備。] people travel as they please. In addition, [準(zhǔn)確恰當(dāng)?shù)倪壿嬤B接詞。這是好的CC的必備。] sitting on the driver’s seat may be more comfortable than standing in a cramped and crowded compartment of a bus or a train. [如果一句話就把事情說(shuō)清楚了，那就不要故意增加廢話。贅述和贅肉一樣令人不悅。好的CC就是沒(méi)有贅述，贅述分散讀者的注意力。]

On the other hand, [準(zhǔn)確恰當(dāng)?shù)倪壿嬤B接詞。這是好的CC的必備。] cars are not friendly to the environment, making our cities and towns less habitable. [如果接下來(lái)有數(shù)個(gè)點(diǎn)要討論，那么序數(shù)詞可以幫助讀者明確內(nèi)容的結(jié)構(gòu)。這也是好的CC的必需。] First, cars emit pollutants, many of which are highly toxic. Meanwhile, [準(zhǔn)確恰當(dāng)?shù)倪壿嬤B接詞。這是好的CC的必備。] the carbon emissions prove to be a major cause for the current unfavorable climate change around the globe. Cars also [不要小看這個(gè)also，也行文至此的必備。說(shuō)明這是不利之處的第二點(diǎn)。] produce noises. Drivers inevitably use the horns, and the noise is irritating. Even though [這個(gè)讓步關(guān)系的連詞短語(yǔ)很重要。在此之后的內(nèi)容應(yīng)對(duì)了上一句的內(nèi)容，又與主句的內(nèi)容形成了邏輯關(guān)系。] the use of horns may be strictly prohibited in some zones in some cities, the car engine generates sounds that are annoying. A noisy environment is certainly undesirable. [好的CC需要行文的內(nèi)容有進(jìn)展性的順延。這句話，把討論順延到了本段的關(guān)鍵：不利，這一點(diǎn)從選詞undesirable可以看出。] In addition, [準(zhǔn)確恰當(dāng)?shù)倪壿嬤B接詞。這是好的CC的必備。] the large traffic volume, even if the cars go in an orderly fashion, causes displeasure and upsets people. [行文時(shí)，內(nèi)容從籠統(tǒng)寬泛到具體詳細(xì)，也是常見(jiàn)的CC搭建方式。此處前一句的兩個(gè)關(guān)鍵詞displeasure 和upset在下一句中有說(shuō)到“為什么”（即下一句的狀語(yǔ)部分）。] Having so many cars lining up on the road, [看，就是這個(gè)狀語(yǔ)部分說(shuō)到了“為什么”。] a city feels crowded and uncomfortable.

In conclusion, the worldwide increase in the ownership of private cars is a controversial phenomenon. It may be good for individuals as they have cars and thus are independent in traveling and travel with comfort. [如果可以把段落里的內(nèi)容濃縮成短語(yǔ)形式，措辭簡(jiǎn)潔高效不過(guò)度重復(fù)，CC會(huì)好。] However, the advantages cannot compare to the damage caused to the environment. [該籠統(tǒng)的地方就籠統(tǒng)，不過(guò)度重復(fù)之前的信息。]